


You're here

by Raccoon_Priestess



Series: You and I and the Multiverse around us [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:55:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raccoon_Priestess/pseuds/Raccoon_Priestess
Summary: Barry could tell Oliver was scared. Not a feeling he would expect from the hooded vigilante who every night was picking a bow and hitting the streets but if Barry had to be honest he was scared too. They both were scared of so many things - of losing those they cared about, facing the problems coming with a new friendship, and then having to live in the world without each other. Lucky for them, a quick reminder of presence, simple "I'm here" whispered in moments of doubt was enough to ground them and to find some more strength to fight with every passing threat.In other words, season 1 of The Flash and season 3 of Arrow with our favorite heroes trying to make things work.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen, Eddie Thawne/Iris West, Ray Palmer/Felicity Smoak
Series: You and I and the Multiverse around us [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978810
Comments: 60
Kudos: 134





	1. We might be dead by tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter. Set at the end of first crossover Flash vs. Arrow. 
> 
> Some things are different obviously. I think in this universe Oliver was really pretending at the end of season 2 when he told Felicity he loved her and Barry has had crush on Oliver since very beginning in 2x08.
> 
> Chapter title is from SOKO's song 'We might be dead by tomorrow'.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Barry knew he had an advantage over Oliver. No matter how many years of training the archer had, the speedster moved so fast that there were times when he thought his friend wasn't moving at all. He could win, he had done it in his head several times since they started. Despite his powers, he was taken by surprise several times. Oliver was able to grab his fists, twist his hands, or throw him against the pillars of the warehouse. The archer took his word about not holding back seriously.

Barry caught the arrow flying towards him, breaking it in half. He quickly discovered that when he threw them all to the ground, Oliver directed the fight towards them, only to pick them up and use again. Smartass. Suddenly he felt pain in his leg, immediately looking down.

"Not so fast, huh, Flash?" Oliver asked, grinning under his hood.

"You’re running out of arrows," Barry said, tugging a knife from his leg. It hurts, but the speedster didn't want to give Oliver the satisfaction of winning. The archer came at him while he was distracted.

Barry blocked his blow, he even managed to escape from the kick, but Oliver reached for him with his bow, smacking his back.

"That’s enough," Barry breathed out, pushing Oliver away. By the time the archer got to his feet, Barry had run through the entire warehouse and broke the rest of Oliver's arrows, and threw them in front of Oliver.

"Do you think it is easy to make an arrow?" Oliver asked, throwing his bow aside, attacking Barry in hand-to-hand combat.

Even if reluctantly, Barry had to admit that Oliver was good. He knew, of course, that Arrow was an unstoppable force in battle, he followed his cases, but the experiencing it on himself was something completely different. Barry was sure that if he didn't come up with anything new, he would lose.

Using his speed, he managed to surprise Oliver and push him to the floor. It wasn't a complicated move, Barry didn't know anything about martial arts, but in combination with super-speed it turned out to be enough. Oliver fell to the ground with a loud thud. The man lay on the ground for a moment, staring at the ceiling, breathing hard. His chest quickly rose and fell, Barry wanted to approach him to see if he was all right, but he had already been tricked once.

"You won," Oliver finally said. Barry smiled, clenching his fists and throwing them up into the air.

"I knew I'd win. I'm way too fast for you"

Oliver sat upright, putting hands on his knees. Speedster sat in front of him, crossing his ankles.

"You've just admitted you won with me only because of your powers," Oliver said, looking at him in surprise. "If I could block your abilities, you wouldn't have a chance."

"You can say what you want, it doesn't change the fact that I won, Ollie,” Barry protested. Oliver grimaced slightly. Barry was sure he’d miss it if he hadn’t been watching his friend so closely. "Did I say something wrong?

“Last time you did it, I thought you did it to piss me off, because of Biavolo’s influenced. Only three people in my life have called me that"

Barry took off his cowl, resting his head on his palms. Seeing Oliver's look, he rolled his eyes.

"Like we came here wearing masks," Barry said. Oliver agreed with him because he took off his hood, carefully pulling the mask over his neck. Speedster smiled, seeing how carefully Oliver treats his gift. He even thought Oliver's fingers stopped on the green fabric for a moment, but Barry blamed his powers for it. "I want to know who's with me on the list of people who can talk to you by your nickname."

"Don't you think we had a moment before the fight?" Oliver asked, looking at him expectantly. If he thought Barry would let go, he was very wrong. "And I never said you can call me by the nickname"

"But we can have one more. I thought we were friends."

"We are," the archer said slowly, closing his eyes for a moment. "My sister, Laurel, and Sara."

Barry smiled brightly, hooking Oliver with his foot.

"It wasn't that hard, was it?"

"It was. I don't usually talk to people about myself."

His voice was stable and slightly cold. Speedster noticed the change, Oliver closed himself off. His defense came back, and Barry thought he got through it when they talked in the foundry about Arrow not taking parts of Oliver Queen with him.

"I know your secret," Barry reminded him." You don't have to lie to me."

"I know, Barry. It’s not about that. It’s about me.”

Barry looked at him in surprise. Speedster felt a sudden urge to reach out, grab his hands, comfort him in any possible way. He didn't do this, didn't even move from the spot. Barry couldn't find courage in himself to do that.

"What do you mean?” asked Barry.

"On the island-" Oliver began, but he stopped almost immediately. "Since I got back, I haven't told anyone what happened on Lian Yu. I'm afraid that if someone finds out about all the things that I did then-"

Oliver didn't finish. He began to stare into space. Barry was sure he was thinking of what he had just said. Speedster felt the need to do something, the last thing he wanted was for Oliver to go back to those five years. He could almost see the river of memories that was attacking Oliver's mind.

Barry was about to say something, but suddenly he couldn't find the right words. The man couldn't help but look at Oliver. At his strong jawline, a light beard. His eyes seemed blurry and distant, but Barry clearly remembered what they looked like when the archer was fighting or just trying to analyze the evidence. Barry's eyes rolled over his shoulders, the green suit hid his muscles, but the speedster knew they were there.

Barry composed himself, realizing he was staring at Oliver, and what worse, the archer didn't even notice that.

"I didn't think I'd have to do it again," Barry said, his voice weaker than he would have liked. "You survived hell and came out of it only because of your humanity that no island will take away from you. Ollie, I've seen you torture people, I know how many people you killed when you returned to Starling City. Do you think I will get out of here as soon as I learn you killed or tortured someone on the island? I do not support these methods, but I know that you are not just a douche guy with arrows that run around the city at night. The good you do outweighs times when you go too far.”

Oliver's gaze finally focused on him, and Barry felt a slight shiver go down his back as the blue eyes seemed to slowly make their way to his soul. The archer opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it. Barry smiled as he leaned over Oliver and pushed him lightly on his shoulder.

"How about the second round?” the speedster offered, wanting to change the subject. Oliver smiled for a moment, which Barry counted as a small success.

"As much as I would love to prove to you who is better here, I'm afraid you threw me harder than you intended."

"Are you okay, Ollie?” Barry asked, wanting to get up to check Oliver. He didn’t mean to give him too much pain.

"I've had worse, Barry. It's not easy to take me down.

"Seems pretty easy if it's done in a flash," Barry said, smiling.

"This joke is not funny," Oliver said smiling back. Barry thought that Oliver had a beautiful smile.

"Your face says something different."

"At least mine doesn't look like I'm underage."

Barry stared at him with his mouth open. He said nothing, couldn't find the right words. What Oliver had said might sound insulting, but by the tone the archer used it sounded dangerously like a joke. Speedster closed his mouth, frowning. The archer laughed briefly.

"Something's wrong, Barry?

"I think I just heard Oliver Queen joking. You hit my head in our fight and I'm hallucinating now? Aliens kidnapped you?"

"I can joke," Oliver protested, rolling his eyes, "but nobody will believe you if you tell them."

"Even Felicity? Diggle? You spend most nights with them, you can't tell me they've never heard you joking"

"They haven't. Maybe my sister has. I don't do this often after the island."

Oliver's position changed slightly, Barry was sure he wouldn't notice if he looked away for a second. His arms seemed suddenly tense as if he expected an attack. Barry didn't know what could trigger such a quick change, but the archer soon relaxed again.

"Then I feel honored. To be one of the few people who called you 'Ollie' and have heard you joking" Barry said, looking delighted.

"You shouldn't be so surprised, Barry. You bring the best out of people." Barry opened his mouth to say something, but Oliver pointed a warning finger at him. "Don't even try to interrupt me to say something self-loathing. My point is that with you everyone changes into a better version of themselves and I'm no exception. You are light in the dark."

Barry stared at him for a moment. He always knew what to say to leave him breathless. The last time Barry checked, they didn't teach on desert islands how to make speeches. Oliver probably didn't learn that either, at any of the schools he went to, Barry could have bet on it. Maybe it was just Oliver, for once speaking honestly and openly what he was thinking.

The speedster wasn't sure how much time had passed. He didn't know if he saw himself in the way Oliver introduced him. The archer was not the first person to tell him so, there was Joe and Dr. Wells and a few other people. For some reason, Barry wanted to believe that it was true, that he was a hero outside his mask, only when Oliver was saying that, sitting in front of him smiling and joking.

"Barry, I can hear your thoughts. Give yourself some more credit."

"Why do I feel like you're trying to cheer me up?"

"Why do I feel like you need it?" Oliver answered with a question, leaning toward Barry, placing a hand on his shoulder. Speedster felt a shiver run down his spine, he was almost certain that Oliver felt it too, but he didn't take his hand away.

"You know, you can't run away from love all the time," the speedster burned suddenly, avoiding looking at Oliver. The archer clenched his grip, surprised by the sudden change of subject. For a moment he looked like someone had hit him. Barry hissed, feeling that his collarbone could break under the steel pressure of Oliver's hand.

"Ollie," Barry said quietly. Oliver immediately lost his grip. Instead of taking his hand, the archer gently rubbed his hand over Barry's shoulder in an apology.

"I don't have time for things like love, Barry. Every night when I put my hood on I know I may not come back.”

“The thing is, every day we risk our lives, we have no time to hesitate, we must take everything that life gives us without a doubt.”

"You can't judge me and still pining after Iris when she is trying to settle down with someone else."

"I don't judge you, Oliver," Barry denied, shaking his head slightly. “And I’m not pining after Iris. Not anymore. You’re changing the subject. Can you really tell me that you can still live without love in your life? You can't reject everyone.”

Oliver's hand fell from his shoulder to his knee. Barry had to contain himself from swallowing loudly. For a few seconds, he was afraid to breathe, feeling the warmth from the archer's hand on his knee.

Speedster watched his friend, he saw in his eyes that Oliver was closing himself off, even if he did it unconsciously. His walls were returning and if he wanted to finish this conversation without Oliver's unnecessary excuses, why shouldn't they come back to it now or ever. That's why Barry started talking, the first thing that comes to his mind.

"I'm not going to make decisions for you," the speedster began." But I'm not going to waste time on denying feelings, hurting others, telling them that I'm not ready to let them into my life and open myself to them without unnecessary lies and excuses."

"I've lived this way for eight years, Barry, I can die at any moment. I don't want to leave people who will mourn me."

Oliver's answer seemed learned, he went back to the same argument, ignoring what Barry was saying.

"They'll be anyway, Ollie. Because there are people who love you, whether you like it or not. You have no influence on it and by pushing everyone away, you also take away from them the chance to create any memories with you."

Barry paused, feeling that he had said too much, expressed too much of his feelings, and Oliver certainly caught a hint. The archer had survived for years by catching small nuances from the statements of people who raised his suspicions. Speedster remembered that it did not take much time for Oliver to discover his lies when they first met.

"When I was on the island," Oliver said suddenly. "I had a picture of Laurel with me. Even if I got on the boat with her sister, memories of her reminded me of what awaits me at home. Even if our paths parted afterward, without these memories I would not be here now, so you are probably right."

A smile slowly appeared on Barry's face and Oliver smiled back after a moment. "You agreed with me," the speedster said in surprise.

"When we met for the first time, I wasn't very nice to you, but you still made a mask for me. My thoughts came back to you more often than I'm willing to admit. So yes, I agree with you."

Barry felt his face getting warmer. He didn't expect that type of confession, not from Oliver. He realized that he had started a conversation for which he wasn't ready. But talking with the archer seemed so simple to him that he didn't think about what he was saying. He knew there was a reason why he was beginning to admit it to himself, but it didn't mean he was ready to tell Oliver about his feelings.

"See? You’re talking to me about yourself.”

"If I’m honest with you, why don't you say what you feel?"

"What do you mean?” Barry asked, trying to pretend he didn't know what Oliver was talking about.

"Barry," Oliver said. "You know exactly what I mean."

"You seem to know already, so why do you make me say that?"

"So don't say it," Oliver said simply, surprising Barry.

Speedster hesitated. He remembered the twist in his stomach when he saw the boomerangs flying towards Oliver, remembered the warm feeling that accompanied him when the archer helped him walk after their fight, while he was still under the influence of Biavolo's power. He knew he wasted his chance with Iris, why he wasn't learning from his own mistakes.

"I'm not the best at it, Barry, but," Oliver tried to say, but the speedster interrupted him, quickly leaning forward and pressing his lips against his. Barry did not know what got into him, he acted on an impulse, almost immediately getting away from Oliver.

"I'm not sure if I can live like that, Barry," Oliver said softly, taking his hand. "Fully, loudly, quickly, now. Without hesitation and fear.”

"We can always try together," Barry said, feeling his heart beating in his ears."I heard that even you change with me into a better version of yourself."

"Using my own words against me, very smart, Barry."

The speedster laughed softly, not wanting to ruin the moment. He watched Oliver, watched the smile appear on his face.

"So maybe let's start by finally leaving this warehouse," said Oliver, standing up and offering his hand for Barry.

"Together?" asked Barry.

"Together."


	2. Someone to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of set in The Flash 1x09 when Barry comes to talk to Iris but in this he just doesn't confess his feelings for her. 
> 
> Chapter title from song by Vancouver Sleep Clinic 'Someone to stay'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More arry then Olivarry in this. I like having other characters around not just two.
> 
> I like Iris as a character. I'm not really found of her romantic relationship with Barry but she can be awesome sister.
> 
> Enjoy!

Barry walked slowly across the street toward his old home. It felt weird for him, knowing that Iris was about to move in with Eddie soon. His adoptive father had already suggested that Barry should move back in, but he refused. It was better for Joe if he doesn't see Oliver often or knows about the visits to Starling City that Barry hoped to make. He didn't have time to talk to the archer about this before Oliver and his team had to return to their city, but Barry concluded that they would visit each other more.

Barry wasn't sure if he should tell his friends about his new relationship. He wasn't going to tell people who openly disliked Oliver, like Joe or Dr. Wells. Cisco could have made it a bigger deal than it was, which Barry wanted to avoid. He thought of Caitlin, she should support him somehow, Iris also passed through his head. He'd been lying to her about his powers and didn't want to add more secrets. Barry wanted to tell her, but he wasn't quite sure how to explain to her how he got to know Oliver well enough to be in a relationship with him, but maybe it was worth a try. He could always say it's just a joke or come up with some other excuse. Barry was getting better in excuses.

He was about to go up the stairs to the house when it hit him. Oliver Queen wasn’t a woman. It was a stupid statement, Barry knew it, but it didn't change the facts. Speedster never thought about what Iris would think about Barry dating another man.

Logically Barry knew she loved him and would accept him. He lived with Iris for years, and she still was by his side, it never mattered if he was acting strange, stupid, or was just his nerdy self. She was always for him, so Barry hadn’t had any reasons to worry. Everything will be just fine.

He opened the door, feeling his chest begin to tighten again, and felt an oncoming panic attack. It has been a long time since the last time when it happened. Barry couldn't back out now, Iris must have heard the sound of the opening door. He could start talking about something else, mumble about something he was just conducting in his laboratory, or whatever he could think of.

Iris finished decorating the Christmas tree and turned to him with a smile. Her expression was open, he knew her for so many years, and yet Barry felt that he came across a wall between them. He was afraid of Iris' reaction even if he didn’t want to admit to it but fear of what may happen to him if he didn't tell her the truth, at least this once, was bigger. Barry felt bad lying to her, but his secret identity was to protect her, knowledge of his love life did not threaten Iris in any way, except for a possible heart attack, when she learns who he’s dating.

"Hey, you’re just in time. Do you know if they give any awards for tree decorating? Because this is award-worthy,” Iris said, proud of her work but Barry heard her through the fog. He was a few seconds away from running out of the living room and hiding in his flat. Everything slowed down when he took a deep breath. Does his heartbeat this fast while he’s running as well?

“You okay, Barr?” Iris asked, bringing him back from his thoughts, probably worried about his behavior. Speedster sighed and without a word hugged his sister. The woman was surprised, he felt it after the way she embraced him awkwardly. He was glad she hugged him back.

"I love you, Iris," Barry finally said. He needed assurance, at least for those short moments, before he told her part of the truth about his life.

"Aw, I love you too," she said, running her hands over his back in a reassuring gesture. "What's going on, Barry? You know you can talk to me about everything.”

The speedster reluctantly moved away from her, taking another deep breath. Why was that so hard? Iris was always the closest person Barry could think of if he needed to take something off of his chest.

"When we were kids, I loved you even before I knew what the word ‘love’ meant.”

Barry noticed Iris's gaze. She pulled away more from him as if she was expecting Barry to start confessing undying love for her. He should have started differently. Her fears didn’t seem unfounded, not from her point of view. A few years ago when Barry didn’t see the world beyond her she could have been right. Speedster nervously ran his hand through his hair, sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Don’t get me wrong, I will always love you, you are my sister. "

Iris relaxed, even if she tried to hide it. Her relief didn’t last long, if Barry was so stressed and didn’t want to confess his feelings, his stress was caused by something else. Barry knew her long enough to see this in her eyes. He was aware he looked like a kicked puppy.

"I care about you, you’re my closest friend and I don't know what I would do if you started hating me and-" Barry stopped shaking his head.

"Hey, Bear, I can’t hate you no matter what you’ll do or say. You're making me nervous," Iris said, placing a hand on his fingers, which he was constantly twisting.

"I know, it’s just-" Barry paused again, searching for the right words. "I'm seeing someone," he finally admitted." We haven’t discussed who to tell about us. I don’t think we want to hide, even if it looks like it. Things are more complicated than I can explain to you, but I think I want to tell you this and it won't change later.”

"That's great, Barry," Iris said, a wide smile returned to her face, which reflected a slight shadow on the speedster's lips. Iris pulled her hair behind her ear, adjusting herself on the couch." What’s her name? Do I know her? How long do you know each other and why am I hearing about her now? You have to tell me everything. I need to decide if she deserves my approval.”

The smile disappeared from Barry's face, which immediately caught the woman's attention. Years ago she and Barry could talk about people they liked easily, now Barry was too afraid of her reaction to speak openly.

"Barry, you’ve behaved strangely since you came here," Iris finally pointed out.

"Well, I’m... I'm not seeing a girl," Barry finally said quietly, looking down at his lap, avoiding eye contact with Iris. He waited for her reaction for a brief moment, but when the silence continued, Barry decided to give her some time and go to hide in his apartment.

"I'm sorry, you have to think about it, I.. I’ll go," he said, getting up from the couch.

Barry was afraid of what she might say. Will she hate him? Think of him as an outsider from society? Barry would never thought about her as a homophobic person. On the other hand, it never was about someone this close to her. Barry knew that he was able to deal with the opinion of the public, with what people would say in Starling City, maybe even Central City, but he could not imagine his life without Iris or just with her hatred for him.

He did not even have time to tell her who he was dating, who the person that had recently occupied more and more of his thoughts was. It wasn’t even important if Iris couldn’t accept him. Maybe he should never start this conversation, add it to a long list of things that Iris didn’t know, and wasn’t about to find soon.

"Barry, wait," Iris said suddenly. He stopped by the door but didn’t turn toward her. Barry heard as she got up from the couch and walked to him. Iris grabbed his arm, turning him and practically forcing for another embrace. "I didn't expect it, but I don't need time to think about it. I have nothing to think about. You are still my best friend and I will love you regardless of whether you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It doesn’t change the way I love you.”

Barry just nodded, unable to say anything. He just hugged her back until Iris pulled away from him, pushing him toward the couch.

"Okay, let's start again," Iris said with a grin. "Do I know him?"

"Theoretically yes. You know who he is, you even met him, but you don't know him closer" Barry began mysteriously, teasing Iris a little.

He took a moment to wonder if there was anyone who knew Oliver closer. Barry, of course, hoped to be that person someday, it seemed to him that understanding the other man came to him easily, as well as reading archer’s emotions. He knew his boyfriend had separate masks - one for the media, for friends who did not know his second identity, and for those who knew his secret. What will it feel like to say that he knows the real face of Oliver Queen? Barry felt thrilled at that thought.

"Is this that guy from STAR labs?” Iris guessed, thinking about his name for a moment." Cisco, right? I met him several times when you were in a coma.

"No. Oh God, where did you get that idea from?”

"Well I don't know a lot of people who can be your secret boyfriend," she replied with a pout, nudging Barry's shoulder to loosen him up. The speedster was still a little tense, less than before, but he knew that Iris was still waiting for his boyfriend's name. Barry laughed nervously.

"Anyone at the police station? I'm sure dad will be delighted if both of us are dating people he sees every day.”

"No, no one from the police station, I have higher standards.”

"Hey, Eddie is a detective too!” Iris protested, defending her boyfriend. "Have you seen his abs?”

"I've seen a better one, I can bet you," Barry said, and Iris gave him a dubious look."I’m telling you, higher standards.

"Stop making fun of me, Barry, and just tell me."

Iris laughed and Barry thought how much he missed it. Between his day job and Flash’s responsibilities, he hasn't had time to just sit down with Iris, talk about everything, and laugh for no reason.

"You ready?” Barry asked. Iris nodded once, biting her lip. The speedster couldn't help but make a dramatic pause. "Oliver Queen.”

"No," Iris protested almost immediately." You are kidding me. There is no way that you are dating Oliver Queen.”

Iris sounded suspicious, not entirely believing in Barry's words. He couldn't blame her. Before he became the Flash he wasn't the type of person to date someone like Oliver Queen and Iris was seeing him in that way.

"I thought Oliver was with Felicity," the woman said, trying to break him.

"They tried to be together once but found that they are better as just friends.”

"I don’t believe you," Iris said, folding her arms, but she was still smiling.

"I saw him shirtless," Barry said, remembering how he had found out who was under the Arrow's hood.

"Since when you two have been together?”

"Since my last visit to Starling,” Barry answered, hoping it will be enough for Iris. She just raised an eyebrow looking at him. “He was here when you met him, a few days after that I went to Starling City for one day, and somehow it turned out that we got together, went for a walk," Barry tried not to show pain remembering this ‘walk’ and all those arrows that Oliver put in him, but later he remembered their conversation after their duel and could not help but smile. "It just happened.”

"Okay, let's say I buy it. How did you meet? You never told me.”

"A few days before the accelerator explosion I was in Starling, following a case similar to my mother's. There was a break into his company, but I had to come back before I could solve it.”

Barry thought about his first visit to Starling City. He and Oliver went from reluctance from Oliver’s side to saving the archer’s life and even making a mask for him. Barry thought about how many things about their relationship Iris couldn’t know.

"Joe can't find out. At least not yet," Barry said suddenly, realizing that things she didn't know weren’t foreign to his adoptive father. He was thinking Oliver was just some lunatic with bow and arrows. "He'll make a problem of it, and we don't need him to drive 600 miles just to shoot my boyfriend."

Not that he had a chance, Barry thought.

"I don't know if I can lie to him," Iris protested.

"Just don't mention it," Barry said pleadingly, feeling guilty again. He and Joe were lying to her every day, pretending that everything was all right.

"I can try," she promised.

Barry spent more time with Iris, soaking up every second. Of course, he had to answer a few more questions about Oliver ("When are you going to bring him home and officially introduce him as your boyfriend? Will I get pictures from your dates? Why do you always get someone better than me, not make me complain about Eddie, I love him, but that's not fair.") He also had to assure his sister that his decision to reject Joe's offer to move in with him again had nothing to do with the whole situation (even if it had).

He returned home later than usual, but that didn't stop him from calling Oliver. Barry waited for an answer until he heard the voicemail. After several tries and a trodden path on the floor, the speedster decided to try again in the morning, in case Oliver was in the middle of some fight or just sleeping for once at some normal hour. Barry hoped for the latter.

He tried not to think about Oliver, telling himself that everything will be okay. Still, before Barry finally fell asleep he spent several hours turning from side to side. He knew that Oliver was capable of taking care of himself and could kick asses, but he had a weird feeling in his guts. One thought followed him all night.

Ollie, please, be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iris believing Barry after he told her he saw Oliver shirtless like it was the best argument he could tell her... I think that season 1 Iris would do something like that.


	3. Hurts like hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst is here. I'm not sorry.
> 
> Set in arrow 3x10 and the flash 1x10
> 
> Title from Fleurie - Hurts like hell
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. Next chapter will be happier I promise.

Barry tried to call Oliver the next day, then the next and the next, but the archer didn't pick up even once, and Barry's guts clenched painfully whenever he heard the voicemail. Speedster could barely hold back the thought that Oliver might have been hurt. He was more distracted at work and later than usual because he couldn't sleep at night. He also tried to call Felicity several times, but she rejected his calls. However, he tried not to panic too much in case the Team Arrow simply solved another problem that consumed them all the time.

He was about to run to Starling to check what was going on when Caitlin was kidnapped. Barry knew that before he could get out of Oliver why the man didn't answer his calls, he had to face Capitan Cold and Heatwave to help his friend.

After the rescue, the city learned that Flash was real. He protects people, like a guardian angel. He was no longer just something created on an internet blog but a real person. As Barry read the article about his alter ego, he felt how the pain embraced him again. Oliver was the first person to tell him what he should do when Barry hadn't known what to do next, how to help people, how to be a hero.

Barry remembered Oliver's smile clearly as if weeks haven't passed since their meeting. Maybe it was because of how rarely the archer smiled. Barry noticed that this happened more often when he was around, of course, he noticed. He was a CSI, his job is to look for details that others don't notice.

Barry sometimes liked to wonder what exactly attracted him to Oliver. Just for entertainment. What made him decide to abandon his known love for Iris in favor of something new, unpredictable, and dangerous?

Maybe that was this danger. Oliver was a vigilante who cleared Starling City from criminals, he was a trained killer, he had many enemies. He risked his life every day but was saving hundreds. Maybe it was just his appearance. Barry had heard about Oliver more than once before they met, about how attractive he was, hell, he noticed it all himself. Maybe he could blame his willingness to help and how well he understands Oliver, desire to find out what happened to him on the island.

Barry wasn't entirely sure of the reason. He knew Felicity was right when she told him before the particle accelerator explosion that he sounded like he wanted to date Oliver. Yes, a billionaire by day, saves the city at night. Barry remembered his own words. He didn't need a reason to allow himself to start developing deeper feelings for Oliver. He knew it was risky, but then a conversation in the warehouse happened, and suddenly Barry was ready to close his eyes and jump and fall no matter how far and how long before he will hit the bottom.

"Barry?" Caitlin asked, snatching him out of his thoughts. "I was kidnapped, but you seem shaken. Is everything alright?

Speedster looked around, noticing that he and Caitlin were alone in the cortex. Cisco and Dr. Wells must have disappeared in other rooms of STAR labs when everyone turned out to be okay.

"Do you remember what you said earlier? When Ronnie left you were frozen and you didn't know how to live."

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?" Caitlin asked, frowning.

"How did you deal with this feeling? Losing someone you loved for something greater like saving other lives?" Barry asked, not quite sure where he was going with this question.

"As if someone were tearing you apart from the inside without causing any physical damage. You want to shout and cry at the same time, every moment that reminds you of those you lost is like-"

"An arrow through a heart?" Barry suggested, using a very specific metaphor.

"Barry, it's not easy for me to say that, but you know how it feels to lose a loved one," Caitlin said. She didn't mention his mother directly, but they both felt her name hanging in the air between them.

"It hurts differently this time," Barry said, explaining nothing more. "I don't even know if I have a right to feel this pain. This is probably the worst part. Uncertainty."

"You should run and see for yourself. I didn't know how I might have seen Ronnie, so I went looking for him. You should too. Your injuries are almost healed and, despite some discomfort, you should be able to run 600 miles," Caitlin said with a sad smile, glancing at the tablet looking at Barry's test results.

"How did you know?" Barry asked, getting up.

"Arrows through the heart? That wasn't a very subtle allusion. And everyone in Central City is safe, even if a little bruised and tired. I don't have to be a detective, Barry, but I'm a scientist. Now run before I change my mind."

Barry smiled at her gratefully. Caitlin gestured toward the door and before she could add anything else, Barry went running, leaving her, STAR Labs, Central city, everything behind him.

The atmosphere in Starling City seemed even more gloomy than in Central City. Of course, Barry checked daily news from Oliver's city, he knew that the Arrow had not been seen for several days. He knew about the escape of criminals, that Brick had stolen evidence, that the vigilantes had failed to stop it. Barry wondered if he had been able to help if he had known earlier.

He found no one in the foundry, the place seemed strangely empty as if only the ghosts of the past were present in that place. Barry couldn't resist walking closer to Oliver's suit. He took off his gloves and carefully moved his hand over the green fabric, feeling a small layer of dust under his fingers, which meant that nobody had used it recently. He went further, standing in front of the bow and arrows, admiring them with similar delight as the first time he was in this place.

"Barry?" someone behind him quietly asked. He tensed, turning immediately. Behind him was only Felicity. "What are you doing here?"

Speedster looked at her carefully, noticing her red eyes and dark circles under them. He felt a cold shiver go through his body, I almost felt like vibrating every fiber of his being.

"Where is the rest?" Barry asked, hoping he wouldn't have to ask her a direct question. He could already feel his throat ache painfully.

"I don't know," she admitted, putting her purse on the nearest table. She went to the computer station, taking one of the tablets. "I'm done. I'm only here for the rest of my stuff."

Barry felt a small spark of hope for a moment. The Team Arrow had some big fight that convinced Felicity to leave, and Oliver hid somewhere, no one knew where and his phone was just turned off. Speedster waited for a moment, looking around. He hoped that Felicity would develop the reasons for her departure, but she was silent.

"Where's Oliver?" Barry finally asked, slowly losing his patience.

Felicity froze, staring into space with empty eyes, holding her breath. Barry felt as if he were watching her reaction in slow motion, despite not using his powers.

"Barry, Oliver- he-" Felicity began, but the words were dying in her throat. Barry came closer to her, noticed her fingers clench at the edge of the table. His heart sped up again.

"Felicity, I need to know what happened," Barry said, hoping his voice didn't show the storm that was rising inside him.

"He asked you to tell you something. That he regrets that you haven't had more time. I'm sorry I didn't call, but I can't-" Felicity broke off again, waving her arms around while biting her trembling lip. Barry understood. Oliver is dead, and she can't bear to continue living a double life without her friend.

Everything was suddenly clear. Dust on Oliver's suit, intact weapon, empty base, more crimes in Starling City and failed mission.

Barry felt nothing. He was staring into the void, expecting sudden pain that didn't come. Nobody fired an arrow at him. Barry didn't want to scream or cry, he wanted to give himself completely to cold emptiness. Then he realized that there was nothing in front of him, the abandoned bow disappeared, just like any sound. Oliver was dead, his heart wasn’t beating, he won’t return to him.

Speedster thought about his plans and hopes. He promised Iris that he would finally officially introduce Oliver as his boyfriend. He had imagined their team-ups catching meta-humans or just ordinary criminals. Thought about visits to Starling City, to which he now had no reason, about how many things he could do with Oliver, if only they had more time. Perhaps the archer was right when he told him about his unwillingness to leave behind hurt people who would mourn him. How much Barry's hopes were destroyed when he heard this one sentence when he realized that Oliver would never return.

"How?" Barry asked, suddenly realizing that Felicity was already walking toward the door.

"He challenged Ra's Al Ghul. Malcolm brought a sword covered in Oliver's blood. He was probably also thrown off of the cliff."

Barry nodded without verbally answering her. He wasn't able to speak.

Speedster's stayed in the foundry for some time, hearing the soft echoes of the party above him. All these people, having fun, were blind to the suffering of people who mourned Oliver, or what would happen to the city that lost its hero. Barry knew that there was Thea somewhere up there, whom he didn't have the opportunity to meet in person, who probably didn't know what happened to her brother, believing in the stupid excuse she got from the Team Arrow.

Finally, Barry moved running back to Central City. He locked himself in his apartment, not even bothering to turn on lights. He sent a short message to Caitlin, informing her that he had already returned. The woman wrote back to him almost immediately, despite the late hour, but Barry had no strength to tell her what happened in Starling. He thought he'd rather feel pain, at least he knew how to deal with it. He would like to cry and shout, throw it all out, but he couldn't. He wasn't able to.

He went to his room, curling up in a blanket to separate himself off from the rest of the world. He just had to get ready for another sleepless night, the next day that would come after, where he would pretend everything was alright. A sudden thought crossed Barry's head and before he could change his mind he was already running towards STAR labs. Speedster quickly searched the Caitlin room and then Cisco. He didn't want to go through their stuff, but he knew that after Bette, they both worked on improving the alcohol formula for him, and if there was something Barry needed, it was forgetting.

He managed to find some calculations. The speedster didn't waste time looking for a finished product, Barry decided to make it himself, irresponsibly increasing the number of ingredients. He didn't care if he could hurt himself, he just wanted to forget about Oliver's death.

He returned to his apartment with alcohol in a small laboratory tube. He didn't need much, he knew he had a strong thing in his hand. He sat on his couch, where he once thought that he and Oliver would spend all nights watching movies and cuddling, where they would fall asleep in an uncomfortable position, after a free night without catching criminals and metahumans.  
Barry stood up from the couch, going into his kitchen. Yes, he didn't think much about the kitchen in the context of Oliver. Only about possible breakfasts and dinners together.

"Damn you, Ollie," Barry muttered, tilting the tube and drinking all the contents at once.

Barry coughed several times, feeling the liquid burn in his throat. Stronger than regular alcohol, Barry thought, closing his eyes for a moment. He felt warmer almost immediately. His drink entered his system faster than any alcohol he's ever drunk in his life, but maybe it was just the fault of his fast metabolism. The void began to disappear a little. 

Speedster dropped the test tube on the table, not thinking whether it would break or not. He walked into the living room, kicking the couch.

"Damn you, Ollie," he repeated. "Damn your stupid love for your sister, your willingness to sacrifice, that you always have to be a hero. You see how it had ended?" Barry asked into space, his voice was getting louder and louder. "Are you even here, Ollie? Have you returned as a ghost to look at what's left of me? You know, I thought maybe you would be different. My mother is dead, my dad is in prison. Joe and Iris are great, but it's not the same. And just as I was beginning to believe that I could create a relationship with you, what are you doing? You're dying, Ollie! Without even telling me! I learned from Felicity, not from you, and only because I ran to Starling myself. Don't you think you could have warned me? Call me and say, ‘hey Barry, you know, I'm going to a duel with Ra's Al Ghul and I'm planning to die.’ It's not difficult at all."

Barry started walking around the living room, having a slight problem walking in a straight line, he felt as if he could fall over at any moment. No matter where he was all the time, he turned to the couch, as if Oliver was sitting on it, listening to him. With each sentence, his sentences were getting more incoherent.

“You knew I had a problem with Iris, you told me that guys like us don't get a girl, and you had no idea that when you said that, I developed feelings for you. God, how could I be so stupid? I thought that since you run around with your bow and arrows, you can't die. You survived on the stupid island for five years. I saw your scars, you had to be tortured, but you came back anyway. So what has changed this time? You were with me. Because I can't get a normal relationship. It doesn't even hurt physically, Ollie. How am I supposed to live? My parents, you. How many people do I have to lose before I will be done?"

Barry's eyes filled with tears at one point, the speedster himself was not sure when exactly. He mumbled every sentence, not caring that they weren't understandable. He waited for a few minutes for the answer to his question, but the only sound he heard was cars driving on the streets of Central City.

"You don't even wanna answer me," Barry continued, sitting down on the couch, turning his head sideways, looking at the same place he had not taken his eyes off since he started this one-sided conversation.

"I guess you're not in the mood for talking. Tomorrow I will probably forget what I said. I don't hate you, Ollie. I hate the fact that you were right again and I only had false hope. Guys like us don't get the girl, but we also don't get the guy."

Barry was bubbling, not understanding himself anymore. At some point he eventually fell asleep on the couch, curled up, hugging his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was crying. Writing drunk Barry was difficult but I like the effect. Also it was very irresponsible since he coud've died from alcohol poisoning I think. Still, I'm not sorry.


	4. Dancing with your ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is back! Aslo Caitlin and Linda are here.
> 
> Set in 3x12 & 1x12.
> 
> Chapter title from song by Sasha Sloan 'Dancing with your ghost'.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little angst at the beginning but Oliver is back so everyone is happy.

Barry was good at avoiding talking to Caitlin about his visit to Starling. However, he knew that he couldn't do this forever. After all, she went through something similar and just wanted to help him. It wasn't time for this yet. That's how Barry ended up alone at Jitters. He wanted to avoid STAR labs (specifically one doctor who was probably there) just for one day more, and he was not able to sit in his apartment without wrapping himself in a blanket and looking into space and thinking about Oliver. Despite his desire to go outside, he had to use all his willpower to leave the apartment. When he thought that he could despair peacefully over his fate, over a cup of bitter coffee, Iris entered the café. She immediately noticed him, walking straight in his direction.

"No. I have the worst day of my life. We can't both have the worst day in our lives," she said instead of any greeting, which Barry wanted to laugh at. Not a sincere happy laugh, but a bitter and sad one that would lead Iris to how wrong she was. Barry didn't think that whatever happened to her was worse than her partner's death.

"Okay, you can talk," Barry said, trying to smile. He wasn't sure he had succeeded, but his sister didn't seem to notice anything. So much of her reporter's eye, the speedster thought. He quickly recalled it, blaming his acting and the bad day Iris had.

Iris was saying something about her problems at the work, but Barry didn't listen to her completely. He was probably the worst friend on earth now, but even looking at Iris made him feel empty, reminding him of things he couldn't have.

"Barry? Bear, are you listening to me?" Iris asked, waving her hand in front of his face. "You seem absent. You all right?"

"Huh?" Barry asked, blinking several times. "Yeah, I had an unplanned visit to Starling last week, and- yeah," the speedster finally said. He felt bad about lying to his sister again, even if what he said was the truth.

"Okay, I think my day got a little better. Better enough to hear about your little trip."

Iris smiled back as the woman leaned over the table. She must have thought that it was a happy visit, and he was daydreaming about Oliver. Barry felt panic rising in him. He didn't think about it, he hadn't got the story prepared. He had been in Starling for a few minutes, during which he only talked to Felicity, confirming his greatest fears.

"Nothing to hear about, Iris," Barry said, trying to sound convincing.

"Last time I checked in Starling City lived someone special to you. I don't see any other reason why you'd go there, so don't play around, just tell me how your secret boyfriend is."

"Felicity called me to ask about some science stuff," Barry said. "It was easier for me to just go and show her this thing."

He knew that was a terrible excuse. Barry knew it and Iris knew it too.

"And I have to believe that you haven't seen Oliver."

"Only for a moment," he lied, trying not to cry. "He was helping his sister who runs the club after him, so I didn't want to disturb him."

Barry couldn't tell her that Oliver had gone to face the leader of the League of Assassins. Even if Iris knew about his secret identity, knowing Oliver is the Arrow was a completely different thing. Maybe it didn't matter now, but Barry wasn't feeling well enough to get into the details.

"So you are unhappy because you didn't see your boyfriend?" Iris asked suspiciously.

"Looks like I miss him more than I thought I would," Barry said. A painful truth wasn't available to his sister.

"You're more into it than I thought at first." Barry could see in her eyes that Iris wanted to say something more, so he stayed silent, patiently waiting for the rest. "Are you sure Oliver takes it seriously? You know that in the past-"

"The past is in the past, Iris," Barry interrupted, rising from his seat, torn with sudden anger. Iris didn't know anything, she hadn't got any rights to say things like that. "I appreciate that you are worried, but you don't know him as much as I do, and you can't judge him."

Barry tried to ignore Iris's hurt look, as well as the tears that stung his eyes painfully. When he was out of sight of his sister, he started running. He made several circles around the city, trying to clear his thoughts and eyes.

When he finally stopped, he found himself in STAR labs. Caitlin eyed him, but she didn't ask him any questions in front of Cisco and Dr. Wells.

Barry could remember through the mist that he had found it easy to beat Hartley. Speedster successfully avoided talking with Caitlin, doing his job, fighting with other meta-people. Time was passing by. After Rathaway, Peek-a-Boo appeared. Although matter how fast Barry could run, he knew he wasn’t able to run away from talking to Caitlin, the woman would catch him sooner or later.

"Cisco says I don't have a life," Caitlin said. Even if she began with a different topic, Barry knew where this conversation was heading.

"You don't, do you?” Barry asked suspiciously, deciding to play along for a while.

"I do!” Caitlin protested with a smile. ”I cook and I eat and I read and I help you" she listed, in her eyes you could see that she was pleased with herself for involving Barry in some talk.

"So what you're saying is you do everything that has nothing to do with having a life"

“You don't have to be rude about it," Caitlin remarked, trying to make Barry’s smile a little wider. At least that was what Barry hoped for.

"I'm not doing any better than you. My social life consists of running at superhuman speed and staring at the walls of Jitters when I'm tired of looking at the walls of my apartment." Traces of a smile disappeared from Barry's face, his eyes didn't shine as they did a moment ago.

"How are you doing?" Caitlin asked, also getting more serious.

Barry went silent for a few seconds. He was thinking about his answer. It wasn’t easy but the speedster was trying to not let it sink into him. He was right about staring at walls, but he also was doing everything in his power to keep himself busy.

"I’m working, trying not to think about it. I have a feeling that once I let it crush in I won’t be able to do anything more than mourn him,” Barry admitted, taking a breath.

"We're quite a pair, Mr. Allen," Caitlin said with a sad smile.

"Yes, we are, Dr. Snow."

Before any of them could add anything, an alarm caught their attention, snapping them from their thoughts about partners they lost. Barry ran out of STAR labs a few seconds later.

The meeting with Peek-a-Boo didn't go well. Barry ended up with a gunshot wound, even with Wells telling him that he was now able to learn the Teleporters limits, he didn't feel well. He didn't know what prompted him to call Caitlin, proposing her to go to the bar. He blamed this desire to forget about emptiness, even though he knew he couldn’t make himself a drink in front of Caitlin. She’d kill him for being irresponsible before he’d make this drink. He was glad when she agreed, she even brought another version of alcohol with her, hoping to cheat his metabolism. Barry didn't drink it immediately, knowing Caitlin made it probably weaker than the one he made himself.

Speedster tilted the tube when Caitlin was already slightly drunk. He felt his throat burn, less than the last time, but the feeling quickly passed, the alcohol disappeared from his body. Caitlin looked at him sadly, promising to keep trying.

He didn't know how she managed to convince him to karaoke. Maybe the whole bar shouting ‘Barry’ didn't leave him a choice. He didn't want to sing too much, but eventually, standing on stage, he forgot for a moment.

"Excuse me," Barry said, trying to get the bartender’s attention. He was sitting alone at the bar, Caitlin went to the restroom for a moment. The bartender seemed to ignore him until another woman who had introduced herself as Linda joined him.

"Your girlfriend?” she asked, pointing towards the back of the bar.

"No," Barry said, suppressing her with bitter laughter. "Friend, we try to forget about the things we lost.”

"Is it that bad?” Linda asked suspiciously.

"Her fiancé died during the accelerator explosion, and recently my boyfriend went to the Himalayas for some time, and we’ve lost contact with him since then, and I am fearing the worst.”

Speedster admired how easy it was for him to lie. He was getting better.

"Oh, I'm sorry. If this means anything to you, I think your performance was one of the best I've seen here.”

"Thanks, Linda," Barry said, smiling. She stayed a while longer talking to him about nothing important. Linda said goodbye to him when they noticed Caitlin walking toward them, looking like she was about to vomit, which didn't have to be far from the truth.

"I'm not feeling well," Caitlin said, standing in front of Barry. Speedster grabbed her, carrying them outside. He held her hair, while she was vomiting from too much alcohol.

Barry took her to her apartment, helping her change into pajamas. When he was sure Caitlin had fallen asleep, he closed the blinds in her apartment and brought water from the kitchen, placing it next to the bed. He turned off the light, running out of her apartment, heading toward his own.

There were a few things Barry could have expected to see in his apartment. The mess he left behind, Iris sitting on the couch, waiting for him with a thousand questions, where and with whom he was. It could even be Joe, who eventually noticed his strange behavior, Felicity, who for some reason would be in Central City, even some burglar.

What Barry didn't expect to see was Oliver, standing in the middle of his apartment, looking too real for hallucinations and Barry was worried about himself.

"Barry," Oliver said, smiling. Barry dropped the keys, looking at Oliver in shock, not knowing what to do.

Oliver was dead, he lost the duel with Ra's Al Ghul, Starling City had turned into hell, that was all the speedster knew. And yet the man stood before him, alive, talking to him. He must have imagined him. Missing Oliver and pushing his death was messing with his head.

"Ollie, I- You-" Barry tried to say, but he couldn't form a sentence that made any sense at all. "How?” he finally asked.

"An old friend found me. I'm sorry I didn't arrive earlier, but I wasn't in the best condition and the Himalayas are quite far away,” Oliver said, reaching his hand for Barry.

Barry didn't fully understand his words. He heard his voice, and it made the emptiness he had felt tightening around his chest, making breathing difficult. The Speedster finally shook his head. Barry walked quickly through the apartment, his legs seemed to be working on their own. He wrapped arms around Oliver's waist, clinging to him with all his strength. Barry could feel his heart beating hard under his cheek, felt the warmth of Oliver's body even through a sweater. He was barely holding back his tears. Oliver was alive with him, his heart was beating, his lungs supplied oxygen. Barry could feel the archer's rhythmically rising chest, his breath tickling his neck.

Oliver tightening his grip as much as he could until he felt pain. Barry felt his muscles tense, he heard a little hiss, immediately moving away. Speedster searched for signs of pain on Oliver's face before grabbing the archer's shirt and almost aggressively, pulling it up. Barry ran his hands slowly over the white bandage wrapped around Oliver's torso. Oliver shuddered but didn't stop the speedster. Barry lowered his sweater, smoothing the material.

"It's okay," Oliver said. Barry knew it wasn't entirely true, the other man just wanted to calm him down. “I’m okay.”

"You don't heal as quickly as I do," Barry argued, stepping away from him. He put his arms over his chest, staring at the floor. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to duel with Ra's Al Ghul? I could go with you, help you somehow, during the duel or after it. Or we could have found some other solution."

"That's why I didn't tell you. If you went with me, Ra's could hurt you too.”

Oliver didn't approach him. Barry felt torn between keeping his distance and approaching the archer. He didn't move.

"I have superpowers, he's just a weapon," Barry protested.

"And years of experience, better strategy and magical waters that can heal any wound, even fatal. Barry, it's not like I can't believe you couldn't beat him, "Oliver began, finally approaching him, putting his hands on his shoulders. "I could only focus on the duel, knowing that you are safe in Central City, well as safe as you can be when fighting metahumans. If I told you where I was going and told you to stay here, I know you wouldn't listen to me and run after me.”

"How can you know that?” Barry asked, loosening his arms and letting them fall along his body. Oliver moved his hands from his shoulders along his shoulders and arms until he grabbed his hands running his thumps across his knuckles.

"I like to think I know you pretty well," Oliver said, smiling again. Barry had the impression that this smile was reserved only for him when they were alone, just them, without any masks.

"If you think you know me well, you should know I'm serious about us, and if we want us to work, we can't keep secrets from each other," Barry said, looking into Oliver’s eyes."I understand that sometimes you have to lie to your loved ones, I do it too, but this- it’s different. You must have someone, to be honest with.”

"Even if I'm sure you won't like my plan ?” Oliver asked. Barry heard some doubt in his voice.

"Even then. Maybe I will try to change your mind, but if you give me good reasons for your plan, I will support you, even if others turn away from you. I will believe in you and your decisions.”

Oliver's eyes seemed glassy, but Barry blamed it on the small amount of light in the apartment. The archer put his hands on his cheeks, Barry's breath died in his throat for a moment. Suddenly Oliver leaned closer, kissing him. Barry felt the lightning pass through his whole body again. He clenched his hands on Oliver's shirt, returning a kiss.

Oliver pulled away too quickly without taking his hands off his face. They were breathing in the same air, afraid to step away from each other, as if everything could disappear as soon as they did. Barry didn't even open his eyes. He wanted this moment to last as long as possible after so many sleepless nights, every nightmare in which he saw Oliver die, pierced with a sword, bleeding on some mountain.

"Barry," Oliver said quietly. Speedster shook his head. He felt Oliver's hands shaking slightly. He immediately opened his eyes, looking at the other man who was laughing. "The last person I saw who for some reason I didn't want to open their eyes was little Thea when we were playing hide-and-seek.”

Barry smiled at that. He was glad that the archer was opening to others, sharing his memories, even if those moments were so few.

"I have to go back to Starling City," Oliver said, but he didn’t move away from Barry.

"Your team can go without you one more day," Barry protested, pleading."I can take you there later.

"Only a few hours.”

Barry smiled happily for the first time since talking to Iris. He pulled Oliver toward the couch, sitting down next to his boyfriend.

"I told Iris about us," Barry began. Oliver relaxed next to him, the speedster suspected it was because he didn't ask questions about the duel or a friend who brought him back to life. Barry wanted to give Oliver a chance to forget for a moment about the League of Assassins, deciding to talk about more mundane things.

"Why?” Oliver asked, sliding his hand along Barry's shoulder. "I'm not saying it's bad, I just didn't think you would tell her. I bet on Caitlin and Cisco since they know our identities.”

“Caitlin guessed it, the rest don't know. I told Iris at Christmas. I don't like lying to Iris and it turned out somehow.”

"I guess she wants to meet me again,” guessed Oliver, resting his head against Barry’s shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I almost got hit when she found out I was in Starling and didn't go to see you. I think it can be a bit strange from her perspective. Who would be in a long-distance relationship with the former playboy?”

"A complete madman hit by lightning?” Oliver suggested, snuggling into his neck.

Barry rolled his eyes at his words but said nothing. Instead, he carefully embraced Oliver's chest, hugging him and running his fingers through Oliver’s short hair. The archer pulled him closer, despite Barry's temporary protest. After a few minutes, they both began to fall asleep, tired of the last weeks, reassured by their presence.

Suddenly Barry's phone vibrated, snapping them out of their bliss. Speedster frowned when he managed to take the device out of his pocket while reading the message.

"It's from Iris. She tells me to turn on the news. And she’s hoping you're okay?” Barry asked himself, instantly turning on the television. The news showed a picture of Starling City, the whole street was filled with people fighting with each other, the speedster caught sight of Roy and Laurel somewhere.

"I don't think we have a few hours," Oliver said as he stood up. "Can you take me there?”

"You sure you should go? I can go there alone and help your team.”

"A little pain is nothing new to me, Barry. I’m okay”

Speedster nodded as he approached Oliver. He caught him before he ran towards STAR labs.

"It’s not Starling City," said the archer, looking around the room he was in for the first time.

"No, but I thought you might want to take it," Barry said, pulling the white fabric off the dummy in the middle of the room."It's just a prototype of your suit, Cisco is working on updates, but if you want to make an entry, it may be useful to you.”

Oliver eyes this version of the suit. It was similar to his left in Starling. In some places were drawn lines but other than that it wasn’t much different.

"What are we waiting for?” Barry asked, starting to get impatient. "And to make it clear, I'm going to help Arsenal and Canary anyway."

Oliver opened his mouth to say something but closed it without comment. He took off his sweater over his head.

"Just watch out for this suit. Don’t get hurt yourself, but remember about it. Cisco can be more dangerous than you if you tear it up or damage it before he finishes. It would be perfect if you didn't get blood on it, but you're going to shoot people, so I won't be surprised if it's blood on it,” Barry bubbled, trying not to stare at Oliver while he was changing. It was a distracting view.

"I'll watch the suit, Barry," Oliver finally said, taking the bow. "We can go.”

Barry grabbed Oliver again, getting ready for a longer run this time. As promised, Barry stayed to help disarm members of Brick's army. When everything went quiet, he listened to Oliver's speech with a smile. After that, he took the suit with him, hoping that if he put it back in place Cisco wouldn’t realize that someone had even taken it. He said goodbye to Oliver with a short kiss on the cheek, before the man could keep him longer, he disappeared, leaving a trail of lighting behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited for the next chapter. Hope you liked this one and will like others.


	5. Never be alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for some training. Or maybe me remembering that this was supposed to be about Barry and Oliver, not about Barry dealing with Iris and Caitlin.
> 
> Set in 3x13 before Oliver tells Thea about him being the Arrow.
> 
> Title from 'Never be alone' by Shawn Mendes. 
> 
> Enjoy

Barry didn't know what to expect in Starling City. He still didn't shake off the conversation with Caitlin. She was acting like she didn't have her own business to deal with instead of getting into Barry's love life all the time? As soon as Caitlin learned that the speedster was going to run to meet Oliver, she decided to give him the talk. It was even worse and more awkward than one with Joe when he was in high school. The speedster wasn't sure if he needed it, but he didn't get away in time to avoid it.

He stopped thinking about it five miles before Starling City. He took a breath, running through the city streets toward Verdant. Probably should slow down, eventually, the media will be interested in the red streak that occasionally appears in Starling City, and connect it with the Flash from Central City. It only could evolve into another awkward conversation.

Barry hoped we would find Oliver in Arrowcave, not that it would take him a long time to run to the loft, but he would prefer to go there. Oliver's sister could have been in the apartment, and the speedster hoped that he could spend some time only with the archer without unnecessary sisters and doctors, resulting in his love life.

Speedster stopped at the side entrance to the foundry. He entered the code into the door, which opened immediately.

"Ollie?" Barry asked loudly, going down the stairs. Already at the entrance, he heard the sound of metal colliding with metal, which could mean only one thing. Salmon ladder.

"Barry," Oliver said, shifting the bar to the next rung. Barry had no idea how he would later pull the bar down, but he decided not to think about it at that moment. One day he will ask about it.

"Hey," the speedster said with a smile as he approached Felicity's computers, from where he had a good view of Oliver. He tried not to stare openly at Oliver, who continued his shirtless workout. "I got your message. What happened with Malcolm?"

"He came here, pointed out that after my public performance the League knows I'm alive and told me to tell Thea about everything," Oliver replied through his teeth.

"Will you tell her?" Barry asked, leaning back in Felicity's chair.

"I don't know what to do," Oliver said, releasing the bar and jumping down. He passed Barry, kissing him briefly before he grabbed the towel and his shirt. "If she finds out I've been lying to her for three years, she'll hate me. I once attacked her trying to get information about Malcolm."

"Sometimes I feel that if you don’t know how to talk to your family you just attack them. Should I be afraid of such a visit after we’ll argue?"

"This is not a joke, Barry."

"No, it's not," the speedster confirmed. "But I can't stop trying to make you smile, can't I?"

"You like my smile that much?" Oliver asked teasingly. Barry got up from the chair and walked over to him. He slowly ran his hands over his shoulders.

"Imagine we'll do another team up in a few weeks," Barry began. "You insist that you call the shots, I will agree, but then I will run faster anyway, use my powers without waiting for you. Later I will return to Central City, lock myself in my apartment, and will be about to call you when you suddenly break through my window, breaking it into pieces. You will be standing in my apartment in all your Arrow's glory with your bow, mask, hood, and voice modifier. Before I can do anything, you will look at me and say, "Barry Allen, tell me everything you know about the Flash and how to make him listen to my orders." Barry said, imitating Oliver's voice. The archer couldn't stand it and laughed quietly.

"I don't sound like that. And for the record, I wouldn't say 'Barry' I'd say 'Bartholomew' "

"I don't like you anymore," said Barry, pouting, but there wasn't much hatred behind it since Oliver smiled at him.

"Thank you for being, Barry."

Speedster smiled broadly, glad that he succeeded to make Oliver smile and let him lose sight of problems for a moment. Barry was certain that the archer sometimes forgot that he couldn’t take on the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, trying to fight all adversities without time to relax.

"Always, Ollie," Barry promised, hugging Oliver.

"Do you think Thea will hate me?" Oliver asked quietly, stepping away from him.

"No," Barry said. "And I'm not saying that to give you false hope. You saved her as an Arrow. Thea is a smart woman. As soon as she finds out why you lied to her, she'll understand. Maybe she'll be a little sad that you didn't tell her earlier, but she won't hate you."

"Do you think he'll see the way you do?"

"Oh, I hope not, because I don't want her to see everything I see," Barry said, running his hands over his chest.

"Yeah?" Oliver asked, leaning over him. Barry felt a shiver as Oliver's breath swept his face.

"Yeah," Barry whispered, smiling mischievously.

Before Oliver had time to move, Barry was gone. He returned a few seconds later with Big Belly Burger bags and a wide smile.

"You paid for it?" Oliver asked, looking at him suspiciously.

"Obviously," Barry said."I don't know who you think I am."

Oliver didn't answer, just took one of the bags, heading towards one of the computer chairs, pushing another for Barry.

"Just remember that if you get left dirt on Felicity's computers, I won't be able to save you and you won't be fast enough to run away."

"I spend enough time with Cisco to learn to watch out for computers."

"So what's up in Central City?" Oliver asked, starting the conversation.

"We're looking for a way to help Caitlin's fiance. I think fiance. We thought he was dead, but it turns out that he is also a metahuman who connects two people and- And I'll finish before I bore you to death."

"I like listening to you talking about things you like, Barry," Oliver protested with a small smile.

"Now you're just trying to charm me."

"I don't need to charm you that way. All I have to do is do a salmon ladder shirtless and you'll be mine,” Oliver said, winking at him.

"You're quite confident, Mr. Queen," Barry said, feeling a strange combination of irritation and amusement.

"Don't think I didn't notice the way you were staring at me."

Oliver put aside the empty boxes and leaned back in his chair, watching Barry. The speedster just shot him a look, but when the archer didn't take his eyes away from Barry, he accepted that he was being watched.

"I've been thinking about our fight lately," Oliver said as Barry threw the last empty bag behind him. "You won with me only because of your power, you admitted it yourself so don't try to deny it now. How are you feeling about sparing now?"

"So you can throw me to the floor and prove that you are better? No, thank you."

"Come on, Barry. You have no idea what you are doing when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. You just hit super fast without any technique."

"It works, so I see no reason to change it. Even if I miss the first time, I can correct it almost immediately."

"What if you can't use your speed someday? Oliver questioned. "Or something will go wrong? I was able to hit you with a tranquilizer."

Barry agreed, even if only in his thoughts. He would rather shoot himself in the back than admit it out loud. He also thought about his fight with Tony and how he broke his arm. He knew how to hit, where to hit, and at what speed, but it didn't work out perfectly.

"You want to teach me to fight without using my powers," Barry said slowly.

"It's just an offer, Barry."

Speedster looked at Oliver, considering his options. Training with Oliver sounded tempting, but Barry knew it would mean a lot of work and bruises, even if they would disappear quickly.

"Are you planning to shoot me in the back again?" he asked carefully.

"You have to let go."

"It's not the answer to my question."

"If I have to, yes. In the beginning, however, I was thinking about something other than arrows or hand-to-hand combat," Oliver said mysteriously.

"Should I be afraid?"

"I can show you," said Oliver standing up and extending his hand toward him. "Your choice."

Barry immediately grabbed his hand. He would probably regret this decision later, but there was no way he would refuse. He was ready to wash the floor in Arrowcave.

To his surprise, Oliver approached him, but instead of showing him what to do, he slowly started to unbutton his shirt, lingering his finger longer than it was necessary.

"I thought we were going to train," Barry said. Oliver smiled almost imperceptibly at the slight shaking in his voice.

"You have a T-shirt underneath, you'll be more comfortable only in it."

Barry closed his eyes for a moment. Yes, a dress shirt is not the best for sparring, just a shirt makes sense. Did Oliver have to do it that way instead of just telling him? Either way, he decided to play along.

"And you?" Barry asked. "I heard you liked training shirtless."

"I want you to concentrate a little, but someday we'll get there," Oliver promised, pulling him around the computers. "There are mats at the back, it will be more comfortable to fall for you"

"Very funny, Ollie," Barry said but didn't protest further, following Oliver. The archer handed him two sticks. "Are we gonna fight with this? Wooden rods?"

"When I started my training on the island, it was one of the first things I learned. Apart from archery. I was terrible in hand to hand at that time."

"Doubtful," Barry said. "So I'm just blocking your attacks? No theory at the beginning? Some advice?"

"I won't hold back and you can't either," Oliver warned, hitting the tip of his stick against Barry's. "Remember, no powers."

Barry rolled his eyes, fixing his grip on the sticks. Once Joe tried to teach him how to self-defense, but Iris got more out of it than he. The wood felt heavy, Barry grazed his fingers before they even began. However, he wasn’t about to withdraw.

"Let's go," he said, raising his hands.

Oliver attacked him with one blow, Barry lifted one stick, easily blocking it, but felt the force Oliver used on his wrist.

"Bend your legs, Barry," said the archer, pausing for a moment, waiting for Barry to follow his instructions. In a moment he's done that Oliver launched another attack, then another, mainly hitting the shoulders area. Barry blocked them, standing steady on his legs, until Oliver went for his legs, almost immediately attacking his shoulder again, this time stronger and faster. Barry managed to block at the last minute, with light use of super speed, but he still had to take a step back.

Speedster began to move back, flexing under every attack from Oliver, getting lost in what was happening. He wanted to use his powers again, but he knew it would be cheating. The sound of wood colliding all the time was buzzing in his ears.

"If you keep stepping back, I will chase you and you will eventually fall over," Oliver said. "Stand still."

Barry tried to attack Oliver with both sticks, wanting to get at least a second of advantage, but the archer only crouched, avoiding being hit. Oliver's movements were much less chaotic and more precise than Barry's.

"You're lowering your left arm," Oliver said, and before Barry could correct it, he felt a pain in his left forearm.

"Now I'll be lowering it even more," he protested, leaning sideways barely avoiding being hit in the face. Barry tripped over his legs, losing his balance. He felt a hut on his thigh, then another on his knee before his back hit the ground with a loud thud.

"You lasted longer than I thought you would," Oliver said, extending his hand toward him. Barry took it and got up.

"I thought we were going to train and you're just attacking me."

"You need to learn how to block and counter," Oliver explained. "It will be more valuable if you get to it yourself. Also, no one will wait until you get your balance back and attack."

"So what should I do?" Barry asked, rubbing his shoulder.

"You can step aside, close the distance, start blocking or countering," Oliver said on one exhalation as if it were obvious. Barry doubted that it was so obvious.

"Again?" Barry asked, trying to turn the stick in his hand, which only fell out, making Oliver smile.

"How do you catch your meta-humans at all?"

"With science," Barry answered. "We determine where their powers came from, how they work, and what their limits are."

"Position," Oliver said before Barry could say anything else. It was the only warning the speedster got.

At their fourth match, Oliver accidentally punched Barry on the cheek, cutting his skin. Barry released his weapon, the archer stopped immediately, throwing sticks to the ground.

"I'm fine, Ollie," Barry said as Oliver grabbed his face, turning it toward the light. "Nothing compared to the arrows in the back."

"Arrows were planned, this wasn't," Oliver protested.

"You have a twisted idea of what is dangerous to me. It's okay, Ollie,” Barry repeated, grabbing Oliver's wrists.

"I don't want to hurt you," said the archer. Barry had the feeling that the man was not just talking about this one thing.

Oliver probably still thought he wasn't the right person for Barry. In his head, his world was dark, full of murders and death, and he was a monster who had to be kept under control. But wasn't the speedster's life just as complicated?

Barry did not want to discuss the subject at that time. They both knew that Barry had the opportunity to be invincible, he could easily terrorize cities and Oliver could not stop him. Or maybe he could if he was trying to kill him.

Instead of considering these grim thoughts further, Barry closed the distance between them, slowly kissing Oliver. The archer returned the kiss, wrapping one hand around his waist.

Barry put his arms around Oliver's shoulders, parting his lips and tilting his head to the side, welcoming Oliver's tongue in his mouth. After a while, the archer began to place gentle kisses along his neck, sliding his teeth and tongue over sensitive skin. Barry gasped, feeling a shiver go through his whole body. Oliver suddenly moved away from him, looking at him in surprise.

"Something's wrong, Ollie?" Barry asked, frowning.

"You started vibrating. A bit like when I shot you with a tranquilizer."

"Oh," Barry said. "I don't know if I can control it. I guess maybe I'm just excited."

"I'm not complaining."

Barry smiled, returning to kissing Oliver. The archer started moving forward until Barry's backs hit something cold and metallic. Oliver’s hands were on his hips, slowly making their way under his clothes, touching hot skin while he slipped his tongue between Barry’s lips. Speedster pulled away from him only to take his shirt off. 

Barry’s phone buzzed on the table, throwing them back into reality. 

“You should take it,” Oliver breathed.

“Leave it,” answered Barry, kissing him again. 

They continued making out, but then a second message came. 

“I’m sorry,” Barry said, stepping away. 

“It’s okay. You need to go back?”

“Caitlin found something about Firestorm,” Barry said, taking a towel off the table. Oliver picked up his shirt before he joined Barry. "I can drop us off to the loft, where you can take a shower and change before you go talk to Thea."

"Will you call later?" Oliver asked.

"I can't wait to hear of Thea's reaction," Barry promised before catching Oliver around the waist, running toward the loft.

"It'll be okay," Barry said, kissing him goodbye, but he pulled away before Oliver could do something like keep kissing him. He ran out of the apartment without waiting for any reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling like I'm wasting my time for thousands of words and it's just another shitty fanfic and people don't even like it, they just read the first chapter and then they like 'nah it's bad I don't wanna read it anymore' but maybe it's just my and my self-loathing.


	6. Carry you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some firsts in this. First mission together as a couple, first time Oliver sleeps in Barry's apartment, first time Oliver has a day off. 
> 
> Set in 3x15. 
> 
> Chapter title - 'Carry you' by Ruelle ft. Fleurie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to thank everybody for support in comments on last chapter. It's a little hard for me right now but I promised myself I would finish this and you really helped me get this one done.  
> It's twice as long as usual and it was hell to get through this but hopefully it was worth it.
> 
> Enjoy!

Barry was surprised when he opened the door and saw Oliver. The archer had a bag and didn't look like he had come to visit Barry. His face didn't express any emotions, the fingers of his right hand tightened and relaxed all the time in a nervous gesture.

"Ollie. What are you doing here?" Barry asked, stepping away from the door, letting his boyfriend inside.

"You have to help me," Oliver said, tossing the bag to the ground. "I'm going to Nanda Parbat."

"No," Berry said firmly, feeling his heart speed up. Oliver had already died in those mountains once. Why would he want to go there again?

"My team handed Malcolm to the League behind my back," replied the archer, clenching his jaw. "I need to save him."

"Of all your ideas, this one is the stupidest."

Barry turned away from him, going toward the kitchen. He wasn't going to help Oliver in his crazy mission, he just had to pull Oliver away from it. He had a long night before him.

"Listen to me, Barry. The League will kill him, I have to stop them, and to do this I need the backup. Someone I can trust."

Oliver's voice followed him. The archer took his bag, placing it on the counter.

"Did you forget that Malcolm manipulated Thea into killing Sara? If the League kills him, he'll get what he deserves."

"This isn't you. You never considered murder as a solution.

"Maybe I can make an exception for Malcolm."

"Barry," Oliver said warningly, grabbing his hand. "What's going on?"

"The last time you were at Nanda Parbat, you didn't come back. If I have to choose between you and Malcolm, I can live with his death, not yours"

"I'm not going to die, Barry, that's why I need back up."

"I thought you didn't want the League to know about me," Barry pointed out, trying a different way.

"I don't want to, but I trust you."

"Why exactly do you want to do this?"

"Malcolm is Thea's father," Oliver said, and Barry rolled his eyes. He knew that, and it didn't seem like a reason to risk his life. "My sister helped the team and when her anger will be over she'll realize that she helped kill her father and I want to spare her that feeling."

Barry looked at Oliver for a moment, considering his options. The archer was stubborn, and Barry had to admit his reasons weren't that stupid. If he goes with Oliver, he will be able to take him away before the League realizes what's going on. The speedster was sure that even if he refused, Oliver would go to Nanda Parbat anyway.

He could tell Oliver wasn't telling him everything, but he hoped that maybe the archer would finally explain to him what was going on and would do it before it will be too late.

"So what's your plan?" Barry asked, finally giving up.

"Will you stick to my plan?" Oliver asked dubiously.

"Maybe this one time," the speedster replied.

"I once shot Malcolm with nanites, so I can track him down. The thing is about getting to Nanda Parbat without getting attention, which no one else has done," Oliver explained, opening the bag. Barry leaned toward her, reliving a lot of weapons inside.

"I don't know how to shoot a gun," Barry said, seeing the guns next to the arrows. "Diggle would be a better back up for you, I can't deal with a school bully, let alone trained assassins."

"But you can allow us to retreat."

Okay, Barry thought, Oliver has a plan to retreat, so he doesn't get killed. That was a good start.

"The condition is that you won't use power until it will be extremely necessary."

"This is crazy, Ollie. You can't force the League of Assassins alone. Whole league, with lots of assassins."

Oliver didn't answer, just took one of the guns from his bag and walked over to Barry. He took the speedster's hand, placing it on the weapon. Barry wanted to take away his hand, afraid he would shoot Oliver or himself.

"It's uncharged, don't be afraid of it," said the archer, placing Barry's fingers on the trigger, raising his arm. "Each shot is associated with recoil, but considering that you're the scientist here, you know it. Pull the trigger."

Barry pressed the trigger with his finger, but for the first time, nothing happened. Oliver patiently waited for the speedster to repeat his attempt. In the end, the gun worked, Barry heard it ringing out in his kitchen.

"You just have to do the same, only faster, and towards the League members."

"Why do you think everything is so simple?" Barry asked, pretending to aim straight ahead.

"A bit of practice and it is simple. Remember not to show your powers right away. Can you go in something other than your suit? Preferably something black. I can lend you my jacket."

"I imagined wearing your clothes in different circumstances," Barry said under his breath, but unfortunately Oliver heard him, giving him a look, but there was a small smile on his lips.

"I'm glad you're coming with me," Oliver said, kissing him shortly. "Dress up and we can go."

"Now?" Barry asked in surprise.

"Yes, now."

"Okay," Barry said, running out of the kitchen returning in a few seconds in black clothes. "Is it good?"

"It's not a fashion show, Barry, but the attack on the League of Assassins."

Oliver took a rifle from his bag, passing it over Barry's shoulder, then fixing the belt with the guns on his hips. He took his quiver, looking at Barry.

"Remember to at least shoot in the direction of League members to distract them."

"What if I kill them?"

"You won't have time to think about it. Let's go, we don't have time to waste."

Barry just nodded, grabbing Oliver around the waist before running out, following Oliver's directions. Even at his super-speed, it took them about two hours to get to their destination.

"So this is Nanda Parbat," Barry said, looking at the building in the rocks in front of him.

"Centuries-old. Remember that your speed is our advantage, so don’t use it right away. If they spot us, they can’t get away,” Oliver said, taking out his bow. Before Barry was able to comment on this, the burning arrows started flying towards them.

The archer caught his hand, pulling him toward several larger stones. They started running and Barry had to use his whole willpower to not use his speed and take them again to Central City.

“You have a plan for that, right?” asked Barry, looking hopefully at Oliver.

“Just shoot in their direction and try not to miss. Cover me.”

Barry started shooting straight ahead, trying to hit places where former League members were. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Oliver lifting one of the flaming arrows from the ground, firing it at one of the assassins.

"He's not dead, is he?” Barry asked, looking at the burning man.

"Focus, Barry.”

Three more League members ran ahead of them, Barry panicked a little and used his powers, knocking out two of them. Oliver cut the cheek of one of them with an arrow.

"Come on," Oliver said, grabbing his hand again before Barry could use his speed again.

They followed the man up to Nanda Parbat, where Oliver used one of the arrows to hit his neck. Barry watched Oliver defeat more assassins in awe. The archer kept going forward all the time, knocking more enemies to the ground, Barry for a moment doubted if Oliver needed backup since he was doing nothing. The archer paused to check Malcolm's locations on the device. Barry saw movement behind in slow motion.

"Get down," the speedster said, firing twice at the assassin behind Oliver.

"You didn’t miss," Oliver said with a small smile. "Thanks, now let's go.”

They found Malcolm in a cell hanging over hot coals. Barry flinched at the condition of the older man. He was beaten up, blood on his face, barely conscious. Merlyn muttered something under his breath, but none of them understood the words.

"Trap," Malcolm repeated a little louder.

Before any of them could do anything, the grille behind them fell, cutting off anyway to escape. Ra's Al Ghul came into view with two archers who had arrows aimed straight at them. Oliver raised his hand quickly, stopping Barry from moving.

"Mr. Queen," said Ra's Al Ghul. Barry felt a shiver of fear running down his spine. "Welcome to Nanda Parbat.

Barry didn't use his powers to take them away, he waited for a sign from Oliver, but the archer just shook his head, accepting that the assassins would take them away without much protest.

When they were in their cell, the speedster started playing with chains in silence, waiting for Oliver to say something, but the archer was stubbornly silent.

"We have a little time now, so why don't you tell me why we are here again? And don't say Thea because I know there is something more."

"How do you know that we're not here just because of Thea?"

"I know you can't stand failure, Ollie."

"Every time I close my eyes, all I can see, all I can hear is the fall. I can’t live like that."

"Do you have any plan to get us out of here?" Barry asked, changing the subject. He was going to talk with his boyfriend about that, but maybe not when they were imprisoned in scary mountains,

"Can you use your powers to get rid of these handcuffs?" Oliver asked quietly, moving closer to him. "If you succeed, run for Malcolm, take him away from here.”

"I'm not leaving you here, Ollie. "

"You'll come back to me."

"They'll kill you ten times before I can save you,” Barry argued. “Besides, how am I supposed to get out in the first place? "

"You'll think of something," Oliver assured him. "I’m sure you did something while you were fighting with metahumans that will help you. I believe in you, Barry.”

Before Barry could say anything, the door to their cell opened, and one of the assassins who knew Oliver announced it was time. Speedster felt fear tighten around his chest, he couldn't resist tugging at chains or throwing himself in Oliver’s direction. The archer looked at him sadly, and Barry felt something breaking in him. Oliver came there with him, Barry was supposed to protect him, he was supposed to take him from Nanda Parbat if something went wrong and now he was about to lose him again.

Speedster felt fear and anger mixing in him, felt vibrations under his skin. Even if he could free himself, Oliver told him to break out Malcolm first. Barry didn't want to do this, but if Oliver was to die, he could obey at least this one order.

He felt electricity flowing through his body. Power inside him, driven by hatred and mourning, he was shaking with mixed emotions -

The sound of handcuffs falling to the ground pulled him from this state of stupor, Barry looked down, seeing his hands vibrate at super speed.

Barry ran out of his cell, phasing through the bars as if they weren’t there. He speeds down the corridors of Nanda Parbat, leaving only a red streak behind him. He found Malcolm and took him without caring for the chains, the impact of his power ripped them out.

Barry was running ahead, away from the headquarters of the League of Assassins. He didn't know how long he was running, but he stopped somewhere in the mountains, probably hundreds of miles from Nanda Parbat. He put Malcolm in a hollow. The man was unconscious, but he was breathing, and leaving him there didn't seem to threaten his life. Barry covered him with his jacket, making sure that he wasn’t in any danger. He turned back in the direction he came from.

When he finally reached the point where he and Oliver started the attack, he saw the archer slowly walking away from the building behind him. The speedster stopped himself from running to him. Barry didn't know how the archer did it, how he was still alive, but something wasn’t right. Oliver seemed to be lost in his thoughts, he walked slowly, as if he were wounded, but Barry didn’t see any new wounds.

"Ollie," Barry said quietly, drawing his attention. The archer looked at him, torn out of his thoughts.

"Barry, what are you doing here? You were supposed to go back to Starling, what about Malcolm, how -?"

"Malcolm is safe,” Barry interrupted him. “I couldn't leave you."

"Couldn't you listen to me at least once?" Oliver asks, grabbing Barry's hand, pulling him away from Nanda Parbat.

Barry grabbed Oliver, taking him to the place where he hid Malcolm, running as fast as he could, wanting to take Oliver away from Nanda Parbat.

“For the record, I did listen to you. I took Malcolm away.”

"Can you carry the two of us?" asked the archer, Barry heard the worry in his voice.

"Yes, but I have to eat something. We wouldn't want me to faint on the way back."

Oliver nodded, waiting for Barry to pull one of Cisco's high calories bars out of his jacket.

"What happened at Nanda Parbat?" Barry asked, sitting on the ground.

"Ra's wants me to take his place as the next leader of the League of Assassins," Oliver answered, going back and forth. "He showed me the League from the inside, the benefits that come from it, training, Lazarus' pit. He released me and ordered me to consider the offer. I don't know what to do, Barry. As Ra's Al Ghul, I could do things that I would never be able to do as Oliver Queen or the Arrow."

"Oliver Queen and the Arrow are an unstoppable force if you believe in what you're doing," Barry said. "Why do you have doubts?"

"Everyone we've caught in the last months is free, the courts can't keep them in jail without evidence. The city is still in poor condition after Slade's attack, and last year I was unable to stop the Undertaking."

"When I first tried to save the city, I almost failed. If Joe didn't shoot Mardon... Then I called you, you showed me there was something to fight for. Your city might be a little destroyed right now but you are the one who tries to save it. If it wasn't for you, Malcolm would probably use both devices and only you tried to defeat the army of Mirakuru soldiers before the police even thought about it. Every day, every night you devote yourself to the whole city, which makes you a hero."

Oliver said nothing at first, looking straight ahead. Barry stood up, stepping closer to him but didn't dare to do something more.

"What you say probably makes sense," the archer said finally.

Barry smiled at him. Oliver grabbed his hands, entwining their fingers. Barry appreciated this small gesture. Oliver found support in him and Barry knew that he could count on the archer and his presence. Speedster noticed that small gestures like this one that expressed more of Oliver's feelings than his words, no matter how sincere.

"Let's get out of here,” Barry said. "Hey, Ollie, will you come back to Central with me later? You deserved one day off.”

"I can not wait.”

Barry took Oliver and Malcolm to Starling City, waiting for the archer to explain to his sister the presence of her father in their loft. Then he took Oliver to Central City, where he dressed them in more comfortable clothes. The archer only gave him a look of discontent, but Barry ignored him. He lay down on the bed, waiting for Oliver to follow him, so he could wrap himself around him like an octopus. With a light good night kiss, Barry fell asleep faster than in the last few weeks.

Barry woke up feeling breath on his cheek. He didn't know what was going on for a moment. He turned his head, meeting Oliver's face very close to his. The archer smiled at him, his muscles relaxed as if he had not been stressed for the first time in a long time.

"Good morning," Oliver said, kissing his nose. Barry frowned slightly, not quite knowing what was going on.

Speedster lay back on the pillow, grabbing Oliver's wrist, directing his arm around his waist, while moving closer to him.

"Can we stay here and not return to the world? Barry murmured, closing his eyes, ready to fall asleep again. It was warm under the covers, Oliver's presence made it difficult for him to get up.

"You have a job today, and I wanted to spend some time with you before I had to go back to Starling," the archer protested, placing light kisses on his shoulder.

"Somebody would have thought you'd be so romantic,” Barry muttered into the pillow.

"Nobody will believe you if you tell them that" the archer protested.

"You already have said something like that. I'll tell Iris, she'll believe me.”

"Mhm," Oliver murmured, not quite convinced, kissed Barry's shoulder and neck. He felt the speedster's head fall heavier on the pillow.

"I will," insisted the speedster, Oliver barely understood him but even Barry no longer had an idea what he was talking about. "I'll prove it to you when I have to. Remember that I collect evidence professionally.”

"Are you falling asleep again? Hey Barry. Barry," Oliver said louder, leaning on his elbow, shaking Barry's shoulder.

"I don't like you, Ollie.”

“You already have said something like that,” Oliver said, quoting him.

Barry moved away from him, rolling at the end of the bed, taking the sheets with him. A sudden fall to the floor woke him up successfully. He sat on the floor for a moment, looking around confused. He gave Oliver a brief look, and that was the only warning the archer got before Barry dressed quickly and got ready to leave.

"From what I see, you are the one who is not ready.”

"Very mature, Barry," Oliver said with a smile. "Now you have to wait for me because not everyone has super speed.

Barry several times offered Oliver a helping hand, but the archer successfully rejected it. There was no doubt that the man could compose himself much faster than Barry without his powers, so quite soon after they were walking along the streets of Central City towards Jitters.

"I still can't believe you were able to get me out of the house for coffee in the morning before work, so I won't be late. Joe has been trying for several years," Barry said.

"If you didn't get up voluntarily, I'd throw you out of bed," Oliver threatened with a trained smile. The same who always offered the media, a shadow of mock politeness.

"You did it anyway.”

"You fell yourself," Oliver protested. "But if you prefer -

"Barry, Oliver," the smiling Iris interrupted the archer, barring them from entering Jitters. "I can't believe I see Barry here so early."

Barry threw a glance at his boyfriend, which was supposed to express his irritation. Barry had a reputation to sustain after all.

"All you have to do is throw him off the bed," Oliver said with a smile. Barry couldn’t believe that Oliver had used his own words against him. Traitor.

Barry opened his mouth to explain himself, but Iris's gaze stopped him. The woman moved closer to him, whispering to his ear.

"About Oliver Queen getting out of your bed," she said, underlining her last words. "We'll talk later”.

She pulled away from him with a smile, saying goodbye to Oliver.

"You couldn't resist?” Barry asked. "Now I will be hearing about it for weeks."

"You won't be bored," Oliver shrugged.

Barry didn't answer, looking at Oliver. He still admired that the archer could relax with him enough to make jokes and tease him.

Barry knew that with everything that was happening now in Starling City, with the deaths of Sara, Malcolm, the League of Assassins, it certainly wasn't easy for Oliver. The speedster had his worries, Dr. Wells being a man in a yellow suit or protecting Central City from new humans. However, they both forgot about their worries about these short moments, and it was easier for them to come up with new solutions as they thought about them together.

"So what's up in Central City?” Oliver asked, they walked out of the café toward the police station.

"I think Wells may be the same person who killed my mother. Joe was right, I feel so stupid that I didn't notice it before.”

"Barry, the difference between you and me is that you see the best in people. For five years I have learned not to believe what others are telling me until I have proof that I can trust them. Even then we are exposed to someone betraying us. Trust is a risk, Barry, but we take it every day. You admired Wells as a scientist, then you had the opportunity to work with him, he helped you more than once. It's obvious you trusted him and even if I'd tell you something was off with him when I first met him, you'd probably ignore it, blaming my past for it."

"You knew?” Barry asked incredulously.

"I suspected," Oliver corrected. "Not everyone is always who we think we are.” Barry felt Oliver grab his hand.

"And Iris wants to start an investigation into the disappearance of her boss, who also wanted to investigate the Wells’ case and suddenly disappeared, and I do not know how to keep her away from this.”

"Bring Eddie in," Oliver suggested. "He is Iris's boyfriend, maybe he will have a better influence on her than you or her father. She trusts him. She knows that you have at least one secret from your father, so she may think that you are hiding something else this time from her. Joe is her father, who will protect her regardless of the price, so if he tells her to let go, she might become suspicious or study the subject even more.”

"But Eddie has no reason to lie to her," Barry finished, beginning to understand what Oliver was going for.

"Even if Eddie sees Flash as somebody bad after Bivolo, I think that after you’ll explain to him what exactly happened that night, he should understand.”

"What would I do without you?” Barry asked, not expecting an answer. He asked himself, but Oliver's smile told him that the archer would gladly answer his question.

"You could think of something yourself.”

Barry smiled at those words, not believing how lucky he was with Oliver beside him. Even if the archer sometimes thought he lost himself to his demons, blamed himself literally for everything, and didn't consider himself the best partner, Barry knew that he was all he needed.

Barry thought of what Oliver had once told him. Their fight against Bivolo seemed so distant, almost forgotten. Maybe the archer was right that guys like them don't get girls. Their relationship was based on mutual support, experiencing similar emotions related to saving cities, risking their lives. Barry understood Oliver's decision to duel Ra's Al Ghul, even if the archer didn't return, Barry knew he would do the same for his sister and couldn't blame him.

"What are you thinking so hard about now?” Oliver asked suddenly, bringing him back to reality.

"About you," Barry said, hiding a smile behind a cup of coffee. Oliver looked unconvinced. "I'm glad you were right in saying that guys like us don’t get the girl. That's how I got you.”

Oliver rolled his eyes, but Barry saw a slight smile at the corners of his mouth. Speedster pulled on the sleeve of his jacket, kissing his cheek quickly.

"I thought nothing would beat me when I said I'd take you for coffee."

"Now you're just rude.”

"I’m just charming.”

Barry didn’t expect Oliver to enter the police station. He had hoped that he would be able to avoid Joe's later questions, but it seemed the archer decided to bother him a little more. Barry thought that he was wrong about supporting each other, Oliver was trying to make his life much more difficult.

"You know I’ll get a million questions from Joe, why are you here?”

"I’m trying to spend as much time as I can with you since nobody has called me yet, saying that the city is collapsing and I must be there immediately."

"Are you always right?” Barry asked. He didn't think at all about the fact that they spend little time together and should draw from what they have as much as possible.

"No, but I hate being wrong.”

Barry rolled his eyes but didn't comment on what Oliver said. He didn't stop to say hello to Iris or Eddie, or even to his adoptive father, who cast a strange look at him, at a watch, Oliver and again at him. Barry not being late will be a sensation that day.

"I've never been here before," Oliver suddenly admitted, walking down the stairs to Barry's lab."I know the police station in Starling City, but here it is completely different.”

"I don't know what you expected," Barry said, not looking at him. "Welcome to my world," he added, standing in the door of his lab.

"So here you spend your days.”

"Now I often sit in STAR labs. But before the accelerator explosion, there were days when I could sit here all night, looking at the boards with my mother's case, trying to see something new.”

"I like it," Oliver said, walking over to the shelf where some chemicals were standing.

"Don't touch anything," Barry warned. "Because I will throw you out of here and leave you somewhere in Coast City."

Oliver laughed as he stepped off the shelf and sat down on the desk.

"I was actually thinking about going to STAR labs," the archer admitted. "I don't want to distract you from work too much.”

"I almost believed you.”

Oliver remained at the command for some time, distracting Barry from his work. When the archer finally left, Barry used his powers to speed up writing reports and conducting tests.

"Why are you in a hurry, Bear?” Joe asked, entering his laboratory a few hours later. "Maybe you would like to take a break and explain to me what this lunatic is doing in Central City?"

"Oliver isn’t a lunatic," Barry protested instinctively, but before Joe could say anything about the shooting of the criminals with arrows, Barry continued. "He came to ask for advice and take one day off.”

"Since when you two are close enough to ask each other for advice?"

"Since I know his secret identity," Barry said, not thinking too much about his answer, focused on the last report. "Okay, maybe not at the beginning considering that he tried to strangle me at first, but it got better. It's good to talk to someone who knows what it's like to put on the mask, it doesn't matter if he uses the bow, not super speed. Now, excuse me, Joe, I'm going to hand these reports to the captain and run to STAR labs," Barry said, leaving the lab hoping his adoptive father wouldn’t return to this conversation, overwhelmed by Barry's rambling.

In STAR labs, Barry found Caitlin hovering over computers, talking about the results displayed on the screen with Wells. Barry flinched at the sight, but he remembered that Caitlin didn't know about their suspicions and continued to see Wells as the same man as before.

"What's so interesting there?” Barry asked, coming over to them.

"Oliver let me do tests on his blood. Did you know his -" Caitlin began, but Barry interrupted her.

"I knew. I tested his blood last year when I found out he was the Arrow.”

"You've never said anything about it," said Wells thoughtfully.

"That was before my coma and nobody asked. Where is Oliver?”

"Cisco is showing him the suit he's been working on since we got back from Starling," Caitlin said. “He is sure he’ll get Oliver to show him how to shoot an arrow. Oliver seems more relaxed today, so I think Cisco has a good chance.”

“Oh god, I need to save him,” Barry said with horror in his voice.

“Who exactly? Cisco or Oliver?” Caitlin asked.

“Both,” Barry answered. She gave him a discreet look, very similar to that of Iris. I wonder if Oliver had told her that he'd knocked him out of bed, even if Barry got up voluntarily this time. Barry ignored her, leaving the room to look for Oliver and Cisco.

He found them in the same room where Barry took Oliver after his return from Nanda Parbat. Cisco was showing Oliver something on the mannequin, the archer even seemed interested in what the engineer was saying, which at least seemed odd to Barry.

"Hey, Barry," Oliver said, not even looking at him. Cisco jumped in surprise.

"How did you -" Cisco began, but he skipped the end of the question. "Barry, you have to see this," he said, pulling the tablet towards the speedster.

Barry picked up the device and began to watch an improved version of Oliver's suit. "No sleeves?” Barry asked, pointing his finger at the tablet.

"Not everything has to have long sleeves, something can be practical and look cool," Cisco said in defense of his project.

"You finished earlier," Oliver said, changing the subject.

"I ran away from Joe. I told him that you came to your friend for advice and take a day off, but he didn’t seem convinced.”

"I did that," Oliver said with mischief in his eyes. Liar, Barry thought, but before he could say anything about it, Cisco had already started talking.

"Dude, you came 600 miles just to ask Barry for advice? Couldn’t you call him or something? Why are you here?”

"I came to - “ Oliver began, but Cisco interrupted him.

"Ask Barry for advice. I heard it, but you see, I don't believe you very much. So what is the reason for your visit?”

"Barry," Oliver replied before the speedster could come up with any other excuse.

"Barry? But Barry - Wait, wait," Cisco said, raising his hands straight ahead with a broad smile forming."Oh my, it's just cool. Have you ever thought of a name? What about Flarrow? Oh my God, I have to tell this Caitlin," Cisco shouted, almost running out of the room with a wide smile.

"Caitlin knows!” Barry called after him, but he wasn't sure his friend had heard him.

"You didn’t tell Cisco?” Oliver asked in a questioning voice.

"There wasn’t time to do that. We've never determined whether we are going to make it a big secret and with everything with Nanda Parbat and the League-."

Oliver came up to him, placing his hands on his cheeks with a small smile.

"I'm here now," he paused, waiting for something. Barry nodded almost imperceptibly, signaling him that he knew that. "I think Dig and Felicity may have their suspicions, but I haven’t said anything."

Barry smiled, resting his cheek more on one of Oliver's hands. He needed to feel his touch on him, even if the archer hadn't been hurt in Nanda Parbat, Barry couldn't get rid of the impression of the fragility of their lives, their relationships.

"It seems very calm here," the speedster began, trying to get rid of some of his thoughts. "What do you think about enjoying this day off and watching a movie? “

"But we’re watching Die Hard,” Oliver insisted with a smile.

Barry closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to laugh. He took a deep breath, shaking his head for a moment.

"Let's get out of here before Cisco gets back."

Speedster grabbed Oliver and in a few seconds, they were in Barry's apartment. Oliver grabbed Barry's shoulder for a moment. And Barry would think that Oliver was used to traveling with him.

"A little warning next time?” Oliver asked, trying to stand still. Barry just nodded, waiting for Oliver to find his balance, which didn't last long. As the archer stood firmly on his feet, he pulled Barry toward the couch.

"I like your couch," Oliver said, sitting down. Barry laughed at him softly.

"It's more comfortable than your bed in the Arrowcave. How can you sleep there?”

"I slept in a plane wreck for a few years, believe me, it's not too bad.”

Barry didn't answer sitting down next to Oliver, placing his legs on the archer’s lap. Oliver put a hand on his knees, bringing him closer.

"So, what do you like in Die Hard?” Barry asked. "I need to know what I'm writing for, after all, it can be much longer for me and I can get bored.”

"We can do something to help you keep your interest," Oliver said, leaning over him."I think you'll like this option.”

"You planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?”

"You can’t prove anything.”

"Oh, shut up and just kiss me," Barry said, finally kissing Oliver, who had this little smile on his lips.

Speedster closed his eyes, feeling Oliver slide his hand up to his thigh, slip it under his sweater. Barry gasped, parting his lips, Oliver immediately slipped his tongue into his mouth. Barry grabbed Oliver's shirt, pulling him over him. Oliver wasn’t prepared for this sudden move, and he ended up falling at Barry hitting the speedster's nose with his head. The archer pulled back looking at Barry.

“You okay?” he asked with concern.

“Yeah,” Barry said laughing. “Your face is hard.”

Oliver got back to kissing Barry, quieting his laugh, laying on top of him and pinning him to the couch with his body. The archer began unbuttoning Barry's shirt under the sweater. When Barry felt Oliver's hands on his chest, he pushed him away, sitting down. Speedster pulled his sweater over his head, sliding his shirt off his shoulders, throwing them somewhere behind the couch.

Oliver pulled him closer, kneeling on the couch. He placed one of his hands on the small of Barry's back, pulling him closer to him, leaving no space between them. The speedster didn't know where to put his own hands, in Oliver's hair, on his neck, shoulders, and back. The archer kissed his neck, sucking hickeys into his skin which would disappear soon, but it did things to him. He moaned, trying not to lose himself in those kisses, not yet.

Oliver suddenly stood up and Barry almost fell to the couch, blinking quickly. The archer caught his waist, helping him stand up. Oliver moved his hands to the back of his thighs, pressing on them. Barry's mind was fogged, but the speedster understood the message and jumped, wrapping his legs around the archer's waist.

"Did you do that with every person you’ve been with?” Barry asked, wrapping his legs harder around Oliver’s waist. Oliver groaned, his hands tightened on his thighs.

"Only special ones," Oliver replied, walking easily through Barry's apartment.

"Am I special?”

Barry's lips were close enough to Oliver that the speedster felt them move with every word, his hot breath on Barry's face.

"Very special.”

"Good," Barry whispered before Oliver kissed him again, immediately deepening the kiss. Barry suppressed a moan, pulling Oliver's short hair.

Oliver opened the bedroom door, closing it quickly with Barry's back. Speedster pulled away from Oliver to take off his shirt. His hands began to roam across his bare chest and back, feeling the scars under his fingers. Oliver again started kissing his neck and collarbone. Barry pushed himself away from the door, Oliver understood the message, carrying him towards the bed.

"Ollie," Barry whispered, his breath was quick, it was hard to form any sentence.

"I'm here, Barry," Oliver assured, kissing wet trails from Barry's chest towards his abs. Barry arched his back up. He probably scratched Oliver's back, but he didn't have time to think about it when the archer kissed his body. Barry absorbed his presence with his whole being, needing something to hold on to. Something in him was screaming for more all the time, he must have felt that Oliver was with him, at that moment, forgetting about the whole world, as long as he was only aware of the lips on his lips, hands on his body, hot breath on his skin. He was ready to let go of his desire, forget about all other emotions.

Barry clenched his fists on the sheets, unspoken words in the air. He didn't say them, unable to say anything other than Oliver's name. He knew there would be other occasions to tell them. After all, none of them intended to lose. It wasn't their turn to lose but to rise together toward victory.


	7. Barricades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to reply to your comments but please be patient with me sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing and you guys are sooo nice to me 
> 
> Here we have flash 1x18 with a little Olivarry twist
> 
> Chapter title - Barricades by Our Last Night
> 
> Enjoy!

Barry was scared, not knowing what he should do. He ran back in time accidentally but changing events was something he had done consciously. He needed to talk to someone and Wells wasn’t an option. So he ran, ran straight to Starling City. He entered Arrowcave, speeding down the stairs, stopping in front of computers. Felicity yelped when he suddenly appeared. Oliver, Diggle, and Roy stopped their sparing looking at him.

“Barry, what are you doing here?” Oliver asked, walking toward him.

"Can we- um- can we talk privately?" Barry asked, putting a hand on the back of his head.

"Yeah. Keep going," Oliver said in Roy and Diggle’s direction, before pulling Barry into the area where he usually slept. Barry was holding his hand tightly, keeping Oliver’s arm in his when they sat down.

“So what’s going on?” Oliver prompted.

“I traveled in time. Wells said I shouldn’t talk to anybody about what happened but I need to get it out.”

“Wait. Did you just- Time travel? How, Barry?” Olive asked him, completely lost in this new world.

Barry chuckled, seeing the expression on his boyfriend's face. He relaxed, feeling more secure when Oliver was with him.

“Apparently, I can run fast enough to go back in time. This day has already happened to me.”

“So why shouldn't you tell me what happened?”

"Because it can change the future. We didn't have this conversation in a previous version of today."

"My head hurts from all of this. Look, Barry, I don't know how I can help you, but no matter what you do I will do my best to support you."

Barry smiled at him, leaning in. Oliver kissed him as a confirmation of his words. Barry felt his tongue on his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth with a small sigh. He was so lost in Oliver’s kisses he forgot his problems, he felt grounded with a solid body next to his.

"Guys," Felicity’s voice brought them back to reality. "We’re still in the same room. Technically."

"We were just kissing, Felicity," Oliver said with a grin. Barry felt like he would bury himself 6 feet underground, seeing looks on the team's faces.

"Sure, you were," Felicity continued. "I mean I get that kissing Barry is a pleasant experience but please don’t eat each other's faces in front of us. Not that it’s not hot, it is. Oh my god, can we forget I said that?"

"How can you know what kissing Barry feels like?" asked Oliver, frowning. Barry hid his face in his hands, not believing that it’s happening to him. Caitlin, Iris, and now Felicity. Another woman was interested more than appropriate in his relationship, and he would just run to another country.

"We kissed when I first visited him after he woke up from a coma?"

"You kissed him or he kissed you?" Oliver asked, wrapping his arm around Barry’s waist.

"It doesn't matter. Why would it matter?" Felicity questioned.

"Oliver is just jealous of what’s his," Diggle answered for Oliver, earning a hard glare from the archer.

"He’s not wrong," added Roy, nodding in Diggle's direction.

"I’m not jealous. Just worried."

Barry smiled widely hearing that. He wanted to stay longer, but he was going to catch Mardon before he would hurt others. Screw the timeline, he had to save lives.

"You guys need to come to Central City someday," he said, standing.

"Oh yeah, Oliver was there far more times than I. I definitely will visit you there someday," Felicity promised. Barry just nodded. Someday, when he would beat Reverse Flash. He speeded out, kissing Oliver in the corner of his mouth.

Someday came faster than Barry would like. He knew Felicity's visit would complicate things when he saw her at the door of STAR Labs, and then her new boyfriend, Ray, joined them. Everything in the speedster was screaming ‘trouble’. He didn't convince Oliver not to visit him in Central City, promising that he would come as soon as he was needed in Starling (he made sure that Oliver understood correctly that this applies not only to the city but also to himself), just for Starling City coming to him in the form of the two most inappropriate people.

"He seems a little tall for you," Barry asked, looking at Felicity as Caitlin was checking Ray's results.

"Barry Allen, are you jealous?" Felicity asked with a shock.

"What? No, I'm not jealous. Where did this idea come from?" Barry's voice sounded surprised, he turned to look at Ray, sitting in his usual place."I bet Oliver has better abs than Ray. That’s not the point. I just- I really wish you’d call before flying in."

"Oh no, he flew, I drove," Felicity said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Barry took a deep breath.

"I'm serious. Right now is not the best time to visit."

Before Felicity could answer, Caitlin and Ray joined the others talking about Ray's new suit. As usual, Cisco was excited about the name and the technology. Even Dr. Wells said something about it, but Barry wasn’t listening to them completely, trying to control the inner storm of emotions. He couldn’t say that they shouldn't talk to anyone, trust anyone, that would be too suspicious. He caught the mention of sex, running his hand over his face. There were two of them, no matter how clever, they didn’t seem to understand that no one would pick up the subtext until they pointed it out. For a moment, Barry felt more compassion for his boyfriend, who has to deal with this every day.

"Every friend of the Arrow is a friend-" Barry looked up at Wells talking about Oliver. He felt his muscles tighten reflexively. He was ready to defend Oliver in any form.

"Hell yes," Cisco said, interrupting him. "You should see Oliver's new suit design, there is still a lot of work to do, but-"

"Hey guys," Barry said suddenly, drawing their attention. "We have a lot going on already. Like a metahuman killer that can control a swarm of bees?"

Barry's comments were ignored by Wells, who proposed his and Caitlin’s help on the metahuman case while Cisco could work on the Atom’s suit. The speedster had to admit that it seemed logical, but something in him didn't want to work with the man he once admired. He didn't have time to come up with a plan, he didn't know if he should present to Cisco and Caitlin his concerns about their mentor. Barry wasn’t sure if he could trust them completely.

He knew that even if they were working with Welles, he needed them at least to help him finish this case, then he would be able to find some solution.

"Ray, why don't you stay here and work on your suit, when Barry and I go to Jitters?" Felicity asked her boyfriend, looking expectantly at Barry. Unfortunately for the speedster, Ray caught the hint.

"I'm sure Cisco will be delighted that he can get to work," he said, smiling slightly. Felicity nodded toward the exit.

"Coffee?" Barry sighed but followed her anyway.

"Sure."

"So," Felicity began, walking by his side. "Something happened between you and Oliver? He's not visiting Central City lately, and you seem in a worse mood than usual. Did you guys break up or something?"

"I asked him not to come," Barry said before lifting her off the ground and running toward the café. He stopped around the corner of Jitters, setting down Felicity, who only gave him an annoyed look before she adjusted her glasses and stepped inside.

"You know I left Starling City to get away from the mood but it looks like it followed me here."

"I know, I'm sorry. It’s like said before, now is not the best time" Barry replied, sitting at one of the tables.

"Barry, I have been through enough with you to know when you’re holding something back." Felicity's voice sounded worried. Barry felt a little bad about not telling her what was going on right away, but he couldn't do it at STAR labs. "Is this because I told Ray your secret? Because he is trustworthy, Barry, he wants to help people just like you."

"That’s not what I'm not worried about. I really don't wanna put anyone else in danger" Barry instinctively lowered his voice, as if he expected Caitlin, Cisco, or, worse, Dr. Wells to enter the café in a moment.

"In danger of what?"

Barry thought about how to tell Felicity the bad news. He wasn't sure if he should tell her about his suspicions, or if he should involve his team. Before the speedster could say anything, Eddie came to their table. The man seemed slightly stressed.

"Barry, hey," he said, shifting from foot to foot. Barry frowned at his nervous gestures.

"Eddie," he answered with a mock smile. "You remember Felicity."

"Of course. Great to see you."

Barry noticed that the detective didn't pay attention to Felicity, lost in his thoughts, clearly wanting to talk to him about something. Speedster felt uneasy, Eddie probably came straight from the police station. Maybe Joe found something new about Wells and for some reason couldn't call him.

"What is wrong with you?" Felicity asked suddenly. "Is everyone in Central City in a bad mood? I thought Central City was supposed to be the fun one."

"It’s just- um- It’s not-" Eddie stammered, trying to answer her question.

"Felicity knows," Barry said, hoping the man would finally say why he had come to the café.

"Wow. So everyone but Iris?"

"It feels that way," Barry said, hiding behind a cup of coffee.

"Iris can tell I'm hiding something," Eddie said. "And it’s putting a distance between us.”

"I guess Oliver was wrong this time." Barry shrugged, not quite sure what to say. He was grateful when Felicity saved him.

"Don't think of it as lying, think of it as protecting her from getting hurt with a fib." Barry knew that she was speaking from experience, she was kidnapped several times by people trying to get to Oliver. "I have an idea. Why don’t we all go to dinner tonight? A little wine and dine assure to bridge the gap. We had fun last time.”

"Sure. Why not?" Eddie agreed, clearly relaxing.

"How wonderful Ollie’s in Starling," Barry said with mock enthusiasm. "Even if I'm not single, I’m still a fifth wheel.”

"You can always run and get him," Felicity pointed out. "You two deserved a break too."

"Ollie as Oliver, right?" Eddie asked at the same time. Barry could almost see the cogs spinning in the detective’s head.

"One and only Oliver Queen," Felicity answered him.

"Barry, how many things do we not know yet?"

He turned to Eddie, who looked like someone had just told him that aliens exist. "Just a few."

Barry thought of Oliver's plan to defeat the League, things that Eddie didn't know about, but also things that were also a secret to Felicity. The woman looked like she wanted to say something, but Barry and Eddie's phones suddenly rang.

"Another bee attack," Barry informed her.

"Bee careful," Felicity said as they were about to leave.

"Seriously?” Barry asked, looking at her for a moment. Sometimes he didn't believe what he heard from Felicity's mouth.

"Bad time. Just don't die," she said, sipping her coffee quickly.

Barry tried not to think about this advice as he ran through the city. He shouldn't get distracted now, especially when a swarm of bees chased him. He moved according to Cisco's directions but found a dead end. For a moment, he felt a panic swell over him as the bees stung his body as they let in their toxins. Barry felt his image begin to blur, the last remaining force he managed to run out of the building before he lost consciousness on the street.

Barry seemed to open his eyes the next moment. Joe was leaning over him, the man seemed terrified, but the speedster didn't quite understand why. He felt terrible, but he knew it would pass along with the sting marks. Even if Barry knew that he would be all right, the speedster mentally prepared for lectures on his way to STAR labs.

"I was very specific that you not," Felicity began as Barry sat disguised in a hospital.

"Yeah, that’s a pretty big thing for her," Ray said, and Barry rolled his eyes.

"I know, Ray, if you forget, I know what's going on in Starling City," said the speedster.

"I'll tell Oliver," Felicity threatened, and Barry straightened up, looking at her in shock. The last thing he needed was a conversation with the archer about fighting bees. It wasn't even his fault. He didn't have time to chase the building. Even if he had run around it first, he couldn't remember all its plans, Cisco was pointing him toward the exit. Barry felt a cold shiver run down his back.

"Don't even try," Barry replied, turning his head toward his friend. "Cisco, what happened there? I followed your directions exactly.”  
"I’m sorry. I led you the wrong way," the engineer admitted, slightly twisting his fingers. "The schematics we had- they weren't up of date.”

"They weren’t up to date? What do you mean? That’s never happened before," Barry said. He tried not to sound like he was accusing Cisco, it wasn't his fault that his plans hadn't been updated. However, he failed to completely mute the voices on the back of his head, he had doubts anyway.

"What do you think? That Cisco is trying to get you killed?" Felicity asked dubiously.

"No," Barry said at once, trying to convince himself. "Why would he do that? It doesn't make any sense.”

"I know. That’s why I was just joking," Felicity said as if it were obvious. It probably was for her.

"Barry," began Dr. Wells. "It’s our job to protect you and today we failed but that’ll just serve as a warning for all of us to be more vigilant in the future.”

"Good news the toxin is out of your body. Your levels are back to normal," Caitlin said, trying to brighten the atmosphere in the room.

"Terrific," Barry said, running out of STAR Labs, returning in a moment, wearing a grey suit. "Ray, Felicity, we're gonna be late for dinner.”

"Are you sure you should go, Barry?" asked Dr. Wells.

"You just died," Caitlin said, frowning slightly.

"Maybe you should order in tonight," Cisco suggested. Barry felt irritation rising in him.

"Yeah, we could totally cancel," Ray suggested. Barry barely refrained from sighing. Did no one understand that he was okay?

"I'm fine," he assured me. "Alive. Hungry.”

He finally managed to convince everyone that he was alright, and they should go meet with Eddie and Iris. Barry wanted to forget about his problems for a while and focus his thoughts on something other than metahumans and Reverse Flash. He deserved a few hours break.

At the restaurant, after greetings, Felicity introduced Ray. The whole group was supposed to go to the table when Barry's phone vibrated. Speedster closed his eyes for a moment, already regretting the lost evening. Soon, however, his worry changed into a slight smile. He felt the gaze of others as if they were waiting for clarification.

"It's just Ollie," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "It's your fault," he said to Felicity, showing her the message. Next time when a swarm of bees attacks you and someone has to save you, I expect this information from you.

"Where's Oliver?” Iris asked, walking behind Barry toward the table.

"In Starling," Barry replied, not knowing what else to say to Iris. "This dinner came out so unexpectedly, and he wouldn't have arrived."

Barry didn't speak most of the time, occasionally listening to the conversation at the table. Iris tried to get from Felicity and Ray that they have no secrets and tell each other everything, alluding to Eddie. The blonde tried to get out, talking about the fact that in a relationship you do not always have to talk about everything.

Speedster involuntarily clenched his fingers on his phone. He and Oliver had no secrets to each other, but it was a different situation. They both wore masks, lied to their loved ones, and saved cities, if they also had secrets from each other, they would probably lose their sanity. Still, Barry suspected that if the archer would think Barry might be trying to dissuade him from any of his plans he would hide them from him.

Barry was lost in his thoughts, but he caught how Ray mentioned Dr. Wells. Speedster, hearing the man praise the work of the scientist, felt as if the world suddenly began to blur and lose focus. How could he be so blind not to see Wells's true face before? He could avoid so many events in his life.

Barry quickly came up with a poor excuse, moving away from the table, going to another room. He started walking around, running his hands through his hair. Barry heard the door cracking as Felicity stepped inside, closing it behind her.

"Okay, you've been acting super strange since Ray and I got to Central City. What is going on with you? Just without any excuses, because I'm starting to believe that Oliver gave you some bacteria that provokes keeping secrets from friends and family.”

"All right, you're right," Barry said, taking a deep breath, focusing on what to say. "Joe and I found that Wells isn’t who he says he is.”

Felicity looked at him expectantly, prompting him to continue.

"He- he is the man that killed my mother."

"Oh my God," said the woman, her voice was weak. "But he’s been helping you.”

"Get faster, stronger, I know," Barry said, running his hands over his face. He felt lost and betrayed. He didn't know what to do with himself. "I don't know why he did it. I don't know anything anymore, especially who I can and can’t trust.”

"So you think Cisco and Caitlin are helping him? That's impossible,“ Felicity protested.

“Is it?” Barry asked, looking at her doubtfully. He used to think like her, he understood that she was surprised.

"Yes, they were trying to save you today, they did save you.”

"Wells has also saved me many times," Bars said firmly. "I thought that Wells was a great man, and I was so wrong about him. What if I am wrong about everything else too?”

Before Felicity could say anything, Ray came into the restaurant's back, telling them about the tense atmosphere that was at the table. Barry and Felicity returned to the main room just as Iris told Eddie that she would be at her dad's. The man went out right after her, and Barry got a notification from STAR labs. That was all from their dinner.

After a short visit to the laboratory, Felicity called Barry asking him to meet at Jitters. Surprised, he came to the café, finding her alone at the table.

"Where is Ray?” asked the speedster, sitting down in front of her. The woman raised her head from the chair, smiling slightly.

"He's working on a suit with Cisco”

"I like Ray," Barry admitted. "He seems like he’s a really good guy.”

"He is a good guy. Just like Cisco and Caitlin. Girl.”

"That’s why you called me here?” Barry asked, resting his elbows on his knees. Somewhere inside he felt he could use a conversation with his friend, but he wasn't sure he was ready to listen to all her arguments.

"I know you’re in a tricky situation but that’s when you need your friends to have your back. And how can they be if you won’t let them?”

"It's not so simple. What if Joe is right?” Barry asked. "I'll tell them everything and it backfires? Wells isn’t just their boss, he is their mentor, their hero. My hero,” Barry paused for a moment, opening his mouth to say something, but then closing it. "I don't know what to do.”

"When I first met Oliver," Felicity began. "Before I found out he was the Arrow, he would ask me to do weird things for him, like decrypt a bullet-ridden computer or hack some company. When I would ask him why, he would come up with some of these ridiculous excuses, and I always knew he was lying. But I would help him anyway. You know why?”

"Because Oliver Queen and his smile can convince people to do many things?” Barry tried to guess. Felicity laughed slightly, shaking her head.

"No, but that was close. I knew Oliver was a good person with a good heart. Cisco and Caitlin, they're not different.”

"Thanks, Felicity," Barry said with a smile. She smiled back at him as she got up from the chair.

"I'll go look for Ray before he spends all night on his suit again. Good night, Barry.”

Speedster stayed for a moment, looking at the table with a smile. Finally, he got up from the chair and took off running to the police station. He was going to finish reporting on that day, hoping he could sneak out to Starling City tomorrow if he finished everything. His hope faded when he saw Joe sitting at his desk. The man was waiting for him, not smiling, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Bear?" he asked, turning to him.

"I think you know everything, Joe," Barry said, trying to avoid the subject. He hoped that he could escape, but no matter how fast he was, Joe would eventually catch him. Still better later than earlier.

"Even about your relationship with Oliver?”

"What's wrong with it? We're friends, we help each other," Barry tried.

"Cisco told me when he came for information about today's second victim. Tell me the truth, Bear.”

"You won't like it," Barry admitted quietly.

"I don't like it anyway," Joe said, standing up. "Why didn't you tell me?”

"This is why.”

Barry sighed, getting ready for a long conversation. He sat in his chair, his eyes following Joe, who started walking back and forth.

"Bear, I don't think Oliver is the right person for you. How does it even work? You hate violence, and yet you are with a man with such a long trail of bodies.”

"Ollie is a hero, Joe. He saved his city twice. It doesn't count?”

"Bear," Joe began, sitting on the edge of the desk. "Have you not watched the news lately? He used a kid to confess to being an Arrow just to avoid jail.”

"Roy did it without his knowledge if you want to add it to this conversation. Joe, you have no idea what's happening in Starling City right now.”

"So enlighten me. We lie to Iris, so she can be safe, and you decide to date this lunatic who is no better than many criminals you have helped catch, exposing yourself to his enemies?”

"Bette Sans Souci," Barry said suddenly, not looking at his adoptive father. "Danton Black, Farooq Gibran. They are not in a prison, they are dead. And you don't count it because I am the reason for their deaths and not Oliver. Do you know who keeps convincing me over and over again that I can be a hero when I have doubts because I wasn't able to save somebody? Who helps me, who supports me, despite their problems, which you don't know about. Not you. Oliver is a good man who wants to do good."

"I still don't like thinking about him less than two meters from you," Joe finally said. Barry tried to control himself, but he couldn't help that he liked the thought of Oliver being closer to him. Speedster felt his cheeks get slightly warmer, which didn't escape his adoptive father’s attention. "Barry?” the surprised man asked, but he understood what Barry was up to. "Oh my god," Joe mumbled.

"I was thinking about telling Caitlin and Cisco about Wells’ identity," Barry said, trying to change the subject.

"Barry. Did you and Oliver-?”

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to, Joe. Reverse Flash, can we focus on that?”

Joe just nodded, Barry almost saw the man try to get his head from thinking of what Oliver might have done with Barry.

"Since when you two are actually together?” Joe asked suddenly.

"Maybe a week after we beat Bivolo. We were in Starling City and then-" Barry began, but suddenly decided to spare Joe the details of their duel. "It just happened. Can we deal with Wells's case now? I'll call Caitlin and Cisco. The sooner we can deal with it, the sooner I can finish today's reports.”

"Sure," Joe said, turning to the board on which they had gathered the evidence.

Barry sighed softly at the prospect of the long night ahead of him. So much for quickly completing reports and visiting Starling City at the normal time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #notjealousjustworried
> 
> Thanks for staying with me so far and I'll see you in the next chapter (there will be some big stuff)


	8. Armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song - Armor by Austin Landon
> 
> Oliver is going to Nanda Parbat and Barry is supportive boyfriend as he should be.
> 
> Enjoy!

Barry fell on the floor again, looking at a ceiling, trying to steady his breath. He threw the wooden sticks away. He wasn't even tired, Oliver looked like he wasn’t even trying to train Barry, no signs of tiredness or even a drop of sweat. That was enough.

“Can we finally talk?” he asked Oliver, who offered him his hand. “You don’t have to punish me by clearing your mats with me.”

“I am not punishing you,” Oliver answered with a steady voice. “You died Barry, you need more training.”

“I’ve already told you. It wasn’t my fault, I can’t fight with bees using wooden sticks. Beside it was days ago.”

Barry stood up on his own, crossing his arms over his chest. He was going to get some answers from Oliver, he was ready to play dirty.

“Yes, it was, but that doesn’t change anything.”

“What is your problem? That, “he said looking around them, “is the reason I didn’t want to tell you. You’re freaking out.”

“I’m trying, Barry,” Oliver said suddenly. “I’m trying to be honest with you about everything. I told you my plan about infiltrating the League, I’m telling you things I’m hiding from my team.” Oliver’s voice started getting a little louder but the archer stopped himself, taking a short breath. ”It’s not easy for me, but I’m trying because I want us to work. I want this to be different, permanent.”

Barry was speechless, he could just stand there, staring at Oliver. “Oliver, I-” he tried to say, words died in his throat.

“Then you just decided to keep something from me. Yes, you have superpowers but so do your bad guys. I’m worried about you and I need to be sure that you’re okay. And how can I trust you when you say that you’re okay when you’re hiding from me things like that? I can’t lose you, Barry.”

Barry looked down. He just wanted to spare Oliver some of his worries, not to make him doubt if he could trust him.

“You won’t lose me, Ollie. I’m sorry, I just wanted to- oh god, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not angry at you,” Oliver said, stepping closer to him, his voice was softer. “Just please, next time tell me if something happens to you.”

“I can do that.”

“Good,” Oliver said, kissing him. Barry pushed away after a while, looking at Oliver with a smile again. He had an excellent idea. “Oh no, I know that face. What do you have in mind?”

“Maybe you can show me how to talk about my injuries to you? I mean if it won’t trigger you or anything but I just wanna-”

“See my scars?” Oliver guessed. Barry nodded shyly. “As long as you’re here it should be fine.”

Barry grabbed the hem of Oliver’s shirt, helped him remove it, immediately starting to trace lines on Oliver’s upper body with his fingertips. He took a shaky breath, seeing how bad scars were.

“You were in so much pain,” Barry said, leaning over the scar on Oliver’s right shoulder, kissing it. “Who gave you this one? It’s after an arrow, right?”

“Stone arrow,” Oliver confirmed. “When I first showed up on the island, a man named Yao Fei shot me.”

“You don’t have to,” Barry said, feeling how Oliver’s muscles flexed under his touch. He could tell the archer was fighting some instincts to step back, away from Barry's reach.

“It’s hard, talking about this,” Oliver admitted, looking at him with hard eyes. “Opening myself to somebody like this. Part of me is screaming to run, but I want to do this.”

“Just tell me and I’ll stop. Russian mob?” Barry asked, moving to the tattoo, slowly pressing butterfly kisses all over it.

“I wasn’t always on the island. Last year I was in Russia to fulfill a promise. Joined Bratva for that, then saved some people and became a captain.” Barry was listening but did nothing to interrupt Oliver. He didn’t stop at scars on his chest, one of them was after Ra’s Al Ghul’s dagger. Instead, he put his hand on Oliver’s hip, running his fingers through bitten marks. Barry didn’t ask before Oliver told him how he got the scar. “My fourth year on the island. I was diving to get some maps and the shark bit me. This is also from that time,” Oliver guided his hand on the tattoo on his stomach. “I’m not sure what it means, apparently it’s some kind of magic.”

“Magic?”

“If you ever meet Constantine it will make sense. Can you- can you kiss me?”

“Of course,” Barry answered, tilting his head. “I’m here,” he said, kissing Oliver softly. “Thank you. For letting me see them closely.”

“I have scars on my back too, you know.”

Barry just shook his head. “There will be some other day.”

“Wanna come to the loft with me?” Oliver asked after a few moments of just looking at each other in silence, Bringing them back to reality. “Thea doesn’t know that Roy’s still alive and didn’t answer me when I was trying to call her earlier.”

“It might be a good idea. She wanted to meet me, I have experience in comforting sad sisters. Maybe not after their boyfriends' death, not really deaths, but yeah.”

“At least you know where to stop yourself,” Oliver said, putting on his shirt, then jacket. “Run us there?”

Barry just nodded, taking Oliver with him, stopping at the entrance to the building.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” the archer said into his shoulder, before letting him go after their run.

“So let's see that everything's alright.”

They went upstairs together, Oliver’s going first, didn't even look at Barry, jumping two steps at once. He slowly opened the door, carefully peering inside, as if he expected some intruder.

“Thea?” Oliver asked, entering the loft. He frowned at the silence. “Thea?!”

They both quickly entered through the door, suddenly not caring about the possible presence of someone. Thea was lying on the floor in front of the fireplace, all bloodied and surrounded by glass. They ran to her, Oliver immediately pressed his hands to the wound on her chest.

“Ollie,” Barry said, kneeling on Thea's other side. The archer looked like he hadn't heard him, focused on stopping the bleeding. Barry felt his own heart beating faster. “Oliver, where is some blanket or something like that here?”

“Why would you need a blanket now, Barry?” Olive asked, his voice trembling.

“To cover her wound. I'm faster than an ambulance, and I don’t want to make it worse because of running.”

“On- On the couch,” Oliver answered. Barry just nodded, taking Thea in his arms without a word. Oliver covered her chest, before speedster ran out of the apartment, pressing her body to his. When he arrived at the hospital, he quickly found an empty room, laying Thea on the bed. In a moment a black-haired woman entered the room, who was not even surprised at the sight. Barry suspected Oliver had called the hospital as soon as he ran out of the loft.

“You should leave,” she ordered shortly.

Before other doctors and hospital employees entered the room, Barry ran back into the apartment, this time to take Oliver. Not caring whether anyone would see them, he took the archer outside the room where the doctors resuscitated Thea. Oliver clenched his hands on Barry's sweater, looking through the glass in the door at a monitor by his sister's bed just showing a straight line. Barry said nothing, almost mindlessly running his hand over Oliver's back, trying to calm him down a little. When Thea's heart began to beat again, Barry felt Oliver lose his balance, leaning on him with all his weight. The speedster was sure that if he hadn’t used his powers, he would fall on the floor with his boyfriend.

“Ollie?” said Barry, trying to get his attention. The man didn't answer, his face seemed blank, his eyes unfocused, he was looking towards Thea's room, but Barry suspected he couldn't even see the door. “Ollie,” he tried again. “Thea’s alive. You are about to end up in one of these rooms yourself.”

“I'm fine, Barry,” the archer protested, his voice weak and hoarse.

“No, you’re not. You don't want to admit it. Look like you are about to have a panic attack or faint. That won't help Thea. You need to calm down.”

Oliver didn't answer, though Barry could see the shadow of protest in his eyes. He made no move when Barry led him toward the chairs, crouched in front of him. “Breathe, Ollie. In and out,” Barry tried to keep his voice under control, calming and quiet. He put Oliver's hands on his chest, not worrying that his sweater was dirty with blood. “Breathe with me.”

Oliver followed his instructions for a moment, breathing in the same rhythm as Barry. After a moment he pulled away from the speedster, embracing himself with his arms. Barry felt his heartbreak at the sight of Oliver looking as if he could barely hold on and could fall to pieces at any time. The archer suffered through so many losses in his life and Barry thought that this time it might cause his final fall, from which he was no longer recovering. He felt fear, even imagining Oliver mentally broken even worse than after actual fall from mountains and death.

A doctor came out of Thea's room, whom Barry saw at the beginning. Oliver got up immediately to approach her. Barry followed him immediately.

“We did the best we can under these circumstances, but her injuries are extensive even if she were to regain consciousness we can prolong her life for as long as you wish, but it might be the best to consider other options. I am truly sorry, Mr. Queen,” she said, holding out a pen pad towards him. Oliver stared at the objects for a long moment without saying anything. Barry's hand tightened on his shoulder, which seemed to bring him back to the world a bit.

“Can I see her?” Oliver asked.

The doctor nodded, pointing at the door. Oliver came in, but this time Barry didn't follow him like a shadow. He stayed outside, looking at the doctor expectantly.

“Your secret is safe with me,” said the woman, seeing the look in his eyes. “I still have doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“You didn't treat me,” Barry said stupidly.

“Not today, Mr. Allen. But you don't often have a patient who is in a coma after surviving a lightning strike.”

Barry stared at her for a moment. Finally, the woman nodded in goodbye then turned around, walking away. Speedster stared at the corridor where she disappeared for a moment before he entered Thea's room.

Oliver was standing at the end of her bed with tears in his eyes. Barry could see them clearly, but none of them found their way out. Speedster approached him, standing close enough to show Oliver that he was there for him, at the same time far enough away to give him some space. He was hoping that the archer noticed him even though he hadn’t acknowledged his presents.

“I'm sorry,” Oliver said quietly to Thea, turning to Barry. Speedster understood the hint, pulling Oliver close to him, trying to hide him in his arms. He brushed his hand soothingly over Oliver's short hair. He felt the man shut his eyes, trying not to cry, his breath was shallow and trembling. Oliver was holding Barry's shirt like he was going to drown if he would let go of it.

The door to the room opened, but only Barry looked that way. He saw Malcolm enter, closing the door quietly behind him.

“Oliver,” Thea's father said, trying to get Oliver’s attention. The archer looked at him over Barry's shoulder, shaking his head slightly at the unspoken question.

Malcolm crossed the room, kneeling beside his daughter's bed. Barry barely heard how quiet he said her name. He hated this man almost as much as Oliver, but looking at his tears as he knelt, Barry felt a strange sympathy for him. For him and Oliver, the unconscious girl was the last part of their living families.

Barry turned his attention back to Oliver, who again seemed unable to stand. Speedster led him towards the chair, telling him to sit down, he sat beside him on the floor, holding Oliver’s hands all the time, lying his head on the archer’s lap.

When Barry was looking at Malcolm at Thea’s bedside, at her, the realization hit him. Oliver told him about Lazarus' pit when he returned from Nanda Parbat for the first time. If Thea's injuries didn't kill her immediately, it was the way to save her, the speedster was pretty sure that Ra's Al Ghul would offer it to Oliver for his position as his successor. He also knew that Oliver would agree to any terms just to save his sister’s life.

Barry didn't know how much time they had spent in Thea's room, he didn't count the minutes, he wasn't even sure if there was the watch. Malcolm had left already, leaving Barry and Oliver alone with Thea. Finally, a doctor came, Barry wasn't entirely sure why, but she managed to convince Oliver to wait in the corridor.

Oliver seemed to be more puppet than a human being when Barry led him to the hall. The speedster was about to take him outside the hospital to get some fresh air, but he quickly understood that it had no use and put him on one of the chairs, covering him with a jacket. The speedster almost instinctively ran a hand over his shoulder, letting Oliver silently stare into space. Barry would like to know at least one of his thoughts, even if he knew there might be nothing at all. Speedster heard quick footsteps at the end of the corridor, turning in that direction.

“Oh my God. Barry, Oliver,” Felicity said, running towards them.

“Oliver, we came as soon as we could. What happened?” Diggle asked, walking quickly after the woman.

“They just left her there to die,” Barry replied, although the question was not addressed to him. He had a feeling that Oliver didn't even notice their friends.

“Is she-” Diggle tried to ask again, but Barry interrupted him.

“It's bad,” Barry said, turning to Oliver. “Ollie. Diggle and Felicity have come.”

Oliver turned his head toward the window as if he didn't want to hear what Barry might say. The archer suddenly rose, the fastest move he had ever made since they found Thea bloodied on the ground. Barry got up behind him, walking to the window.

“Smoke,” Oliver said briefly, looking at the violet clouds rising from one of the buildings.

“You can't just go there, Ollie,” Barry protested.

“Don’t have much of a choice,” said the archer, looking straight ahead.

“Oliver, we need to come up with a plan,” Diggle said as he approached them.

“Here’s one. There is no plan. Stay with Thea.”

Oliver turned without a word, walking toward the exit. Barry sighed quietly, turning to his friends.

“I'm going to the loft, I need to clean up there and I'm sure Oliver will want to pack up some things,” he informed them, wanting to run as soon as possible. Felicity grabbed his arm.

“Pack up? Barry, what are you talking about?”

“The League has made demands and is about to finish presenting arguments,” Barry answered, his voice heavy and empty. “That signal,” he said, pointing out the window. “I suspect Maseo is waiting there for Oliver. He will tell him what Ra’s Al Ghul wants and Oliver will accept the offer and will go to Nanda Parbat. We can't do anything to stop him.”.

“This is crazy, Barry. How can you be fine with this?” Diggle asked, his face incredulous. “You’re just gonna leave him like he means nothing to you?”

“The last thing I want is for Oliver to go straight into the hands of the League of Assassins,” Barry said firmly, turning to them. “I feel like I'm going to choke at the thought of it. I don’t want to add Oliver to the list of people I loved and lost” Barry paused for a moment, feeling tears in his eyes. “It's not easy for me. But it is not easy for him to leave everyone who he cares for, even if it is to protect them and all we can do now is support Oliver and be strong. For him.”

Barry didn't wait for their reply, he went towards the empty corridor to run out into the street. It didn't take long for him to reach the loft, as did cleaning up the remains of glass and blood. He went to Oliver's room, pulling the bag out of his closet and laying it on the bed. He felt weird being there without Oliver, packing his things. Until now, usually, Oliver was with him, when Barry came to Starling City, they usually sat in Arrowcave or went to Big Belly Burger, rarely to the loft.

Barry didn't want to cry, but he felt tears stinging his eyes. None of them knew when or if Oliver would come back from Nanda Parbat. Barry was not ready to lose him to the League. Lose another person, knowing he couldn’t save him, even with his powers. He felt powerless and at the same time wanted to be strong to help Oliver.

“Barry?” Oliver asked, standing behind him. The speedster didn't even hear him enter the room. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted- I wanted to help you pack, I know what the smoke meant, it’s not only the League of Assassins thing, and I’m guessing what your next decision will be.”

“So you won’t stand in my way and say that we will come up with something better? That we could save Thea without using Lazarus’ pit?”

“I'd love to,” Barry said honestly, turning to Oliver. He grabbed the archer's hands and put them on his cheeks. “But I know I would do the same if it was about my sister. I'm feeling like I will stop breathing the moment you go there, but you are the one going straight into the hands of the League, I can't even imagine how you feel. The last thing I should do now is to give you a false hope that we will come up with something while risking that Ra's Al Ghul will come here to hurt another person.”

“What have I done in my life to deserve you?” Oliver asked quietly. Barry didn't answer, just closed the space between them and kissed Oliver. They both felt the taste of tears on their lips that slowly ran down Barry's face. Speedster grabbed Oliver's shoulders, trying to deepen the kiss, but the archer quickly moved away from him. Barry tried to chase after his lips. Oliver stopped him by hugging him tightly. Barry looked a little confused for a moment.

“If I let you keep kissing me, it will be goodbye and I don't want to say goodbye to you. Never.”

“You're going to hell, Ollie.”

“League is not hell, Barry. Remember I have a plan, maybe I won't even get back-”

“When you get back, we'll talk about your suicidal tendencies,” Barry said, clenching his fists on Oliver's jacket, burying his face in his shoulder.

“If something happens to me, if I don't come back in months, I need you to promise me that you will move on.”

“This sounds a lot like a goodbye to me,” Barry whispered, clenching his fingers more. He felt a momentary pain as his knuckles leaped from pressure on them.

“The only way I can focus on the mission, look forward, is that you'll be happy. Do you remember what I told you when we started dating?”

“That you don't want to leave behind people who will mourn you,” Barry said.

“I can't go to Nanda Parbat knowing you will be waiting for me. That you will wait even if I may not come back.”

Barry stepped away from him, looking straight into Oliver's eyes. “I love you, Oliver. How can I not wait?”

Oliver smiled, it wasn't a big smile, but something more than just a shadow. Barry felt warmth spreading in his chest at this sight.

“I love you too, Barry. I never thought anyone would ever go through my walls of lies and doubts, but for you, I can let them fall. You are special, you deserve happiness, that's why you have to promise me that.”

“I promise,” Barry whispered, not quite sure what he was going to fulfill his promise. He could promise anything to calm Oliver down before he went to Nanda Parbat.

Barry leaned into one more kiss, but before their lips joined, Barry's phone vibrated. Speedster quickly checked the messages. “It's Cisco. They finished these glasses to put him into a dream, more like a memory of another timeline, so we can figure out Thawne’s plan.”

“Go, Barry,” Oliver said quietly.

“Cisco will wait, glasses won’t run anywhere.”

“But Reverse Flash can.”

“I won't leave you now. Ollie, let me spend some more time with you since we don't even know how much of it we have left.”

Oliver didn't answer, just kissed Barry's forehead before he pulled away from him.

“I'm going to take a quick shower, I still have Thea's blood on me, and when I'm back I'll finish packing. You’ll wait for me?”

Barry just nodded, sitting at the edge of the bed. He listened to the sound of the water for a moment before walking over to Oliver's wardrobe, pulling out one of his leather jackets. He brought it close to his face, breathing in Oliver's scent. Barry put it on and wrapped it tightly. He turned away when he heard a short laugh behind him.

“I thought you were going to pick a sweater,” Oliver said, rolling up the sleeves of his clean shirt. He began packing some stuff into the bag. Barry sat on the bed again, pulling his legs under him, playing with the zipper on his jacket. He watched Oliver closely as he packed everything. At one point, the man took his mask from the closet.

“I thought the police took Arrow's suit when Roy gave up.”

“He wasn't wearing a mask,” Oliver said. “It doesn't fit his face since it was made especially for me.”

Barry blushed slightly, smiling slightly.

“Since I can't have you there, I'll take this with me,” Oliver said, putting the mask in his bag, zipping it up. The man reached out to Barry, the speedster took it, entwining their fingers.

“I think Diggle and Felicity will be here soon, knowing they haven't stayed in the hospital.”

Together they went downstairs, Oliver tossed the bag to the couch, embracing Barry's waist before the speedster could sit down. Barry put his hands on his shoulders, not knowing what Oliver was about to do.

“If you need anything, no matter what it is, no matter if they tell you I'm Oliver, Al Sah Him or Ra's Al Ghul. I will always help you, Barry.”

Speedster felt tears gather in his eyes again, he couldn't look at Oliver anymore without breaking completely, so he clung to his lips again, sliding his hands over his arms, neck, catching his short hair. He felt Oliver tighten his arms, pulling him even closer, letting the moment carry him away, ignoring his earlier words. The archer deepened the kiss, Barry felt their hips touch, his knees were weak, and he was glad Oliver was holding him tightly. He knew it was their goodbye. They both heard the door open, but Barry didn't move away from Oliver, clinging to him even more.

“Barry,” Oliver whispered, pulling a bit away from him, and Barry felt his breath on his face. “Go, Barry. I love you.”

“I love you, Ollie,” Barry said before letting his arms fall along his body. He looked at Diggle and Felicity, before he ran out of the loft, letting the rush of the wind dry his tears before he reached Central City.

Joe, Cisco, and Caitlin were already in his lab, waiting only for him. He ignored their looks, leaning over a shelf with some chemicals. He hoped that Reverse Flash would keep his mind occupied, and he wouldn’t have time to even think about his world without Oliver again, just for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big steps, "I love you" was said, yeey
> 
> Not sure if you noticed but I changed numbers of chapter 'cause I wasn't planning on posting deleted scenes at first and wasn't sure if the next chapter would be the last one but I'm sneaking another for an ending.
> 
> See you in the next chapter (I lost my little heart sadly)


	9. I see you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Oliver deal with what's left after final battles.
> 
> Song by MISSIO - 'I see you'
> 
> Enjoy!

Barry hit Eobard’s capsule with all his power, destroying it to pieces. The momentum of the blow threw them away. Barry sat up, one hand on the ground, trying to recover. He looked at his Thwane, who was getting up faster than he. The man’s eyes were furious.

“You didn't save her,” Eobard said. “Why? Why?! You could have had the life you wanted, You could have everything you ever wanted.”

“I already do,” Barry protested standing upright. He had to get up, had to finish this fight.

“Not for long. If I’m dying, I’m taking you with me.”

Before Barry could ask what that meant, Thwane attacked him. Their fight lasted just a few seconds, they were speeding around the accelerator. Barry was trying too round and surprised him but Reverse Flash managed to hit Barry in the face, Oliver's training or not, he was more experienced and faster than Barry. He hit once, twice, thrice, before he stopped, vibrating his hand in front of his chest.

“You see, Barry, the thing is, you weren't supposed to be with Oliver,” he said, holding Barry's collar. “You were supposed to marry Iris, Eddie was supposed to marry someone else and now you have ruined everything and I feel the time’s catching up with me.”

“Eddie is his ancestor, but not Iris. If he marries Iris, he will never be born,” Cisco said suddenly, sitting up.

“That's right. But I still have some time. Just so we’re clear, after I’ll kill you and Oliver, no matter what Ra's Al Ghul will do, then I’m going to kill your father and your friends. I always win, Flash,” Reverse Flash promised, “Even if it were the last things I would do.”

Before any of them could do anything, someone fired a gun. Barry turned to his friends, seeing Joe with a gun stretched out towards Thawne. It was odd that the man didn’t catch the bullet but maybe it was because he was distracted. He stepped away from Barry, his posture was blurring.

“What's happening?” Barry asked. He felt slightly dizzy, his head was spinning. He felt sick and wanted it to end.

“Dying speeded the whole process. He’s being erased from existence.”

Reverse Flash stopped vibrating, pulling the mask off his head. “I've controlled your life for so long, Barry. How will you get along without me?”

Barry leaned against the accelerator wall. He didn’t want to answer this question ever. He will be fine, he could handle his own life without a killer from the future controlling it. Speedster hoped it was over, he would be able to return home to Oliver, even if it somehow felt too easy.

He was ready to go when the singularity reopened, began to grow and everything went to hell.

After Barry caught professor Stain, he could feel the blame going through his veins, how much he failed. Ronnie was dead, the city in ruins. He looked at his friends and family, something inside him wanted to keep them, but the rational part was telling him to make them go and stay away from him and his destructive powers.

Once he convinced everybody to go home, he went back to STAR Labs, changing into civilian clothes. He sat in a chair at the computers, looking at screens, where news was playing, footage of singularity over and over again. Barry didn’t dare to pick up his phone and call Oliver or run to Starling city. Maybe it wasn’t over with the League, and he would be only a distraction for them.

Barry felt useless and powerless in every meaning of these words. He did travel back in time on purpose to the night of his mother’s murder, and then he just let her die, didn’t save her. He could do that but he chooses not to. Barry couldn’t even help his father, not without Thawne's confession. He wasn’t able to help anyone.

“Barry?” he heard a quiet question behind him. His muscles tensed, he wasn't ready to repeat himself, when he wanted to keep his friends close to him. Once Barry relaxed, he saw Oliver standing behind him with concern on his face. “Where’s everyone?”

“I sent them home,” he answered, getting up, stepping closer to Oliver just to wrap his arms around the archer’s waist. “Did you defeat Ra’s Al Ghul?”

“I killed him,” Oliver answered with a quiet but still steady voice. He touched Barry's shoulders gently running his fingers over them.

“You had to, Ollie. What will happen to the League now?”

“I had a deal with Malcolm. He’s a new Ra’s Al Ghul.”

“And how about your team? I'm guessing they weren’t too happy to find out what your plan has been?.”

Oliver didn’t answer at first, cupping Barry’s cheeks, wiping the remains of blood from Barry’s face with his thumbs. He wasn’t looking in his eyes, but Barry could tell he was looking for something.

“They are angry at me but I get it. I lied to them about and was acting like I was betraying them. They need time and space, it’s okay. I left Starling City anyway.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Barry asked. Was Oliver going to abandon Starling City?

“The Arrow’s officially dead, I honestly don’t know if I can even wear that hood anymore. My team can handle it. I’m thinking about living with you, in one city, not 600 miles away.”

“Where do you wanna go?” Barry asked, closing his eyes for a moment, daydreaming about their lives far away without criminals or metahumans. Where he and Oliver could go on dates and wouldn't have to worry. “Coast city? Ivy Town?”

“Central City,” Oliver answered, snapping Barry of his thoughts. “I may not be the Arrow anymore, but you’re still the Flash. You can’t just leave, Barry.”

Barry looked at him, thinking about his options, finally taking Oliver to the STAR labs’ rooftop, showing him the ruins of buildings and the mess left after the singularity. He stepped closer to the edge, the archer left behind.

“All of this is because of me, the city doesn’t need a hero who failed.”

Barry stared at Oliver through his shoulder, the archer was looking down for a few moments in silence, before he came to him, putting his hands on the speedster's eyes. Barry didn't close his eyes, eyelashes brushing over Oliver’s fingers, Barry still was seeing Central City.

“Close your eyes, Barry, and listen to me, can you?”

“If you don’t throw me off here, I think I can,” Barry said, trying to joke. He obligated, closing his eyes. Oliver took away his hands, embarrassing Barry around his waist. He wasn’t able to look at the city anymore, but he knew it was there, needed to focus on something else, so he leaned on Oliver’s chest, trying to not think about what happened, just about Oliver’s solid body behind him.

“You’re doing it again, Barry,” Oliver said into Barry’s ear. “You’re trying to run away from your problems and pretend they don’t exist.”

Barry took a sharp breath, his emotions mixing. Part of him knew Oliver was right, he didn’t have powers to talk about this. It was too soon for him. His heart speeded up, anxiety washing over him. He just wanted to go home and hide from everything.

“What are you talking about, Ollie?” he asked, decided to play dumb for a while.

“After I died, you haven’t told anyone but Caitlin about what you were feeling. You kept it inside, until it exploded,” Oliver explained patiently. “When I came to you to rescue Malcolm, you wanted to let him die, so I could live, then you went there with me to keep your eye on me. You never heal your wounds, you just pretend they don't exist,” Oliver finished, his voice was soothing, it calmed Barry a little but it wasn't enough.

“You’re wrong. I feel good, really. Just need to go on vacation.” He felt horrible for lying to Oliver about but suddenly he was pinned to a wall, like a deer in headlights. Oliver’s presence was calming but his words were attacking him.

“That’s crap, Barry, you know it. I felt it in a way you were holding me that night, how you’ve been kissing me. Like you needed confirmation I was alive. I was hoping you will eventually open about it, but you haven't done it.”

“I didn’t- I haven’t-” Barry tried to say, feeling out of it. He couldn’t find his usual light in him, didn’t know what he should say to brush it off.

“You’ve done it after bees too, you didn’t tell me you died not only because you didn’t want to worry me, you were running away from this fight, pretending it never happened, that you've never died.”

“I am not running away. Remember I was the first to tell you about my feelings for you?” he tried another way, but Oliver chuckled behind him, he could feel his lips forming into a small smile.

“No, you weren’t. You were talking about other things like love in my life, I had to get it out of you. Still, you kissed me instead of telling me.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted, lowering his guard. He had enough of this conversation, was done with it, but running away from Oliver’s arms was equally hard for him.

“When I was going to accept the offer of becoming Al Sah Him, you were barely holding on, I appreciate you were trying to be strong for me, but then you went back to Central City to keep yourself busy like nothing ever happened. When I came to help, you didn't say anything about it either, just made some joke and be your shiny self. You can be hurt, Barry. Stop denying it.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted honestly. Some weight was taken away from his shoulders. He opened his eyes, turning around in Oliver’s arms, hiding his face in a crock of his neck. Oliver put one hand on the back of his head, hiding him from the world, holding his for a few minutes in silence. Barry knew he was looking at Central City, but not seeing it. His arms tightened a little and Barry guessed, Oliver was lost in his thoughts.

“After Undertaking I ran away, got back on the island,” Oliver said, moving away from Barry, looking him in the eyes. “I was trying to punish myself for not stopping it. Avoiding consequences is not a solution. Face your problems, Barry, make things right and let me be there for you, every second of that way. Me, your friends, your family. Take it from me and don't do it alone. I was doing it alone and then you showed me I don’t have to, not anymore because I have you. You are my light. I’m not saying I’m the best you could have, what I'm saying is I’ll be here for you.”

“You’re already here for me.”

Barry leaned in, meeting Oliver’s lips in a soft and loving kiss. When he was standing there, in Oliver’s arms, it seemed easy, repairing the city, still being the Flash, saving people. Just like that with the archer by his side, nothing could hurt him. He pulled back, looking at Oliver expediently.

“I’m not ready to face them yet,’’ he said, hoping that Oliver would understand he was talking about his team.

“That’s okay. I can be your team,” Oliver assured. “But I’m not putting on any suit and going out on the field, I can help you from your computers.”

Barry smiled, relieved. His grin got wider as he thought about fighting crime with Oliver by his side. “Can I still call you ‘Arrow’? We don’t want people to know who is on the other side, don’t we, Ollie?”

Oliver closed eyes for a moment in an impatience gesture but Barry saw a little smile on his lips. “We have to ask Cisco for a better codename for me,” Barry winced at these words, which hadn’t escaped the archer’s attention. “They’re still your friends, Barry.”

“So I’ll still be the Flash, you will be my team, but I’ll be in touch with my old team and family outside it and you won’t be the Arrow anymore. That’s the deal?”

“Well, I can complain about the touch part but yeah, that’s the deal.”

Barry rolled his eyes at the comment, but he let it slide. He could tease Oliver about it later.  
“What else do you want to talk about while we’re still standing on the STAR labs roof in the middle of the day?” he asked, changing the subject. This time he knew he wasn’t running away, just missed Oliver and wanted to talk about less depressing things “Aren’t you tired after a fight with some assassins?”

“I can sleep later. I was thinking about making our home in Central City and I found something you might like.”

“For how long you’ve been thinking about moving in with me if you’ve already found a place?” Barry asked, shaking his head with a smile.

“You don’t have to know. Your place is too small for us living together.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Barry laughed, kissing his cheek.

“Love you, too,” Oliver answered smiling, but his face turned serious in a matter of seconds. “You don’t have to run away from me. We’ll do this together.”

“Together,” Barry echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was waiting for Oliver to took out a ring and propose right there on a roof but sadly I know he doesn't have a ring yet
> 
> It kinda feels like a finale a little but there's still one more and part two of deleted scenes.
> 
> See you next time!


	10. We found love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a day late with this one and I'm sorry but here it is, the last chapter. 
> 
> Song: We found love by Rihanna 
> 
> Enjoy!

4 months later

Barry was woken up by soft kisses behind his ear. Oliver’s hot breath tickled him, but he just kept his eyes closed, going that Oliver would leave him alone and just go on his morning jog. The speedster would just bury himself in a warm bed, waiting for his sweaty boyfriend to come back, eventually joining him for a shower.

“You’re gonna be late, honey,” Oliver said, Barry heard a smile in his voice.

“Did you just call me ‘honey’ again?” he asked into the pillow.

“I’m trying to be nice and not throw you out of here. You’re gonna be late for work,” Oliver repeated.

“I have a day off,” he tried to get rid of Oliver and get back to sleep.

“It’s tomorrow. C’mon, Barry. Don’t make me use more force on you.”

“You have no powers.”

Oliver said nothing, pressing a little on Barry’s shoulder. The speedster laid down on his back, waiting for what Oliver is going to do. The men started to place kisses along his neck, one of the hands wandering under his shirt. Barry tilted his head on the side to give him better access. Oliver put a leg between his thighs, pressing a little. Barry moaned at the feeling, arching his back into Olive’s hand.

Then Oliver moved away, getting out of the bed. Barry opened his eyes widely, looking at his boyfriend, who was standing near him with a smile. He was already dressed in a shirt and some jeans.

“Now, you’re awake, you can start getting ready for work, without superspeed, and making a mess everywhere. I’ll make breakfast,”

“What about your run?” Barry asked, hoping for at least a few more minutes in bed because he was sure he wouldn’t fall asleep after what Oliver had done to him.

“The one I finished like half an hour ago? I also took a shower and changed already so you can’t sleep more,” he said, getting out of the bedroom. Barry was looking at the ceiling for a few seconds. How was Oliver able to do so many things when he was asleep?

Barry rolled over from the bed, standing in a place just staring into space for a while. He wasn't awake, not even a bit. He eventually got up, he knew Oliver has his ways of making him do a lot of things. Many different ways and he loved all of them even if sometimes Oliver did throw him off the bed or make his training longer and more exhausting.

He took a quick shower before he dressed up and went to the kitchen just to find Oliver by the shove, cooking whatever he’s found on that weird website with high calories breakfasts. Barry walked to him, wrapping his arms around his waist, laying his head on Oliver's shoulder.

“You know I could make breakfast for both of us, right? Faster and better,” he asked, smiling when Oliver growled at him.

“You don’t cook better than me, you just cheat with your speed.”

“You love when I cook,” Barry protested, kissing Oliver's shoulder. He felt a shiver going down his boyfriend's spine. “I think I’ll call in sick today.”

“And what would you do with another day off?” Oliver asked, mixing something in the bowl.

“Sleep? We were looking for maintenance workers all night, and we have nothing,” Barry said as Oliver gave him a plate with pancakes. He took it, sitting on the counter instead of going to the table. “We can't exactly run through all the sewers. Well, I can't. You're just sitting in the STAR labs, Overwatch.”

Oliver smiled hearing his codename. Barry could give it to Cisco, Overwatch was way better than Salmon Ladder, but he wasn't the one to blame. He was ready to vote for Oliver and the salmon ladder to be synonyms.

“You can do that, Flash. We weren't able to track them and it might be our only option.”

“Just great,” he muttered before he started eating. Oliver just looked at him, before he got back to cooking. “Have you ever been there? In the sewers, I mean. Because I was and once is enough.”

“Let me guess. Meta-teenage-ninja-turtles?”

“Nope, the telepathic gorilla.”

“You'll be fine, Barry,” Oliver said, turning the shove off and going to the doors. “See you at STAR labs,”

“I can give you a lift,” Barry protested looking after him. Was he going to leave him alone?

“I can walk. If I stay here a minute longer, you will successfully get me back to the bed, and we have to find these people.”

“Fine,” he finally agreed. Barry stayed in their apartment until he finished eating and called Capitan. The man wasn't happy about it, but Barry successfully got another day off.

He ran to the STAR labs, finding his boyfriend in the cortex, looking at screens with a frown. Oliver was trying to find some patterns in the way maintenance workers were disappearing. He came to his side, leaning over the table.

Oliver looked good there. Barry never pictured him as a person who would willingly resist fighting just to sit behind computers, but it was working. Oliver was smart, he did have experience and Barry was sure that Flash was doing better out there since there were just the two of them. Of course, it had bad sides — Oliver wasn't a doctor like Caitlin and Barry wasn't an engineer like Cisco, but they were working their best.

Barry changed into the suit before running out quickly, doing loops around the city, trying to find something. After a few hours, Oliver called him back to the STAR labs.

“Eat, Barry. You've been running around for hours,” he said handing him over a calorie bar. “I might have something for you.”

“You found that the underground is just a party and missing people had a hangover and weren't able to come back earlier?”

“It's Central City, not Starling City, Barry.”

“Star City,” he corrected. They both still had some problems in remembering changes from the city 600 miles away.

“Right. So you were running around, I stopped looking for a place where they can be and started checking places they were. Every missing person was near the service tunnel 5Z-A.”

“I can go there now. Just want to get over this.”

“Barry,” Oliver stopped him, taking his arm. “Be careful.”

“Always,” Barry promised as usual when he was going to the mission or just to patrol. He took a torch with him but it was hard to light his way and run at superhuman speed at the same time, so he had to run slower in the dark until he heard something like a groan. Barry slowed down, turning on the flashlight. He looked at people on the walls in front of him, missing maintenance workers, and then at the thing that kidnapped them.

“Overwatch,” he said, turning on his coms. “You aren't gonna believe this. I'm not sure I believe it. Can it only be a weird dream?”

“What is it, Barry? Talk to me,” Oliver said. “I can't see you.”

“Spiders. Very big and very angry spiders.”

Before he could tell Oliver something more, one of the monsters stepped closer to him. Barry moved away from it. He hasn't got arachnophobia but these two spiders were scary. He didn't run far anyway because he fell into a web. Oliver called him a few times, but he was unable to respond. He was trapped, and he had to figure out how to escape this prison. He closed his eyes, thinking he escaped worse places. With a deep breath, he focused on phasing from the web, and soon he was free what didn't go unnoticed by spiders.

“Overwatch, how can I kill the spider?”

“Can you try phasing through them?” Oliver suggested and Barry had to stop himself from vomiting at the thought of touching those creatures.

“I’m not touching them,” he protested, standing still. He was closely watched by the spiders.

“Spiders can’t swim, maybe try to locate some kind of pipe with water underground.”

“It might cut the city off the water. I’m not doing this.” He looked around him, looking for something that might help him. “Hold on, I have an idea.”

Barry winced at his plan, taking the end of the web. He started running around the spider’s legs, hoping that the web was strong enough for his speed. He stepped back, seeing his work, before doing the same with the other spider.

“I tied them up, but I’m not sure for how long it will last. I’m taking the people out, thinking about something to destroy them,” he told Oliver, as he started phasing through webs that were holding maintenance workers. He got them to the exit of the sewers where an ambulance was waiting for them. Barry suspected it was Oliver's work.

He got back to the underground, keeping a safe distance from the spiders.

“So any ideas how I can kill them?”

“Why do you want to kill them? Can't we just lock them up?”

“No. What if they break out and kidnap other people? I need to destroy them permanently. Can I borrow your bow? I know you have it somewhere in the STAR labs.”

“You can’t shoot it,” Oliver said and Barry knew he was right, but how hard can it be? He had to try it on one of their dates. “Take a gun, you used it at least once.”

“Fine, I’ll take a gun,” he said before he ran out once again coming back with a gun, shooting spiders until they were dead. He reluctantly checked it before he came back to STAR Labs.

“You okay there, Barry?” Oliver asked as soon as he came back. Barry was feeling like he was about to lose it.

“I hate spiders. Oh God, I have a spider web everywhere.”

“Well, people are safe, so I think you can have your day off. It could be weeks ago if you would ask for help. Cisco would do his magic and help us.”

“We’ve talked about it. I don’t want them to be in danger. And yes, I also don’t want you to be in danger but you’re just as stubborn as I am, I don’t have a choice.”

“Let’s get home,” Oliver said once Barry was changed and offered his hand. “Alarms will go off if something happens. You’ll take a shower, and then we'll make sure there are no spiders in our home.”

“I’d love that,” he said, and just like that, they came home just for Barry to check a bathroom before he stripped out of his clothes to throw them into a laundry and take a long shower while Oliver was making sure that the rest of their loft was clear. Barry smiled, hot water hitting his back as he let his muscles relax. It was weird, really. He faced scarier things and yet two spiders put him in this state of mind.

“Barry?” Oliver asked, entering the bathroom. “Iris is calling. She demands our presents at Joe’s tonight for a family dinner.”

“Time?” he asked, knowing Oliver would get it.

“We have three hours.”

“We'll be there,” he answered and heard as Oliver closed the door behind him, probably going to confirm the dinner to Iris.

Barry sighed he didn't want to go there, but he needed to try. He had Oliver by his side and even though it was still not good, they both still had their wounds. Oliver was acting sometimes like a completely different person, he was more open, smiling more, but events from four months ago were fresh for them both. Guilt, pain, nightmares were in them every day and every night sometimes hitting harder. They were going through their lives with each other anyway. Oliver did help Barry rebuild the city and be the hero or something as close to a hero he can be.

He stepped out of the shower drying himself and putting on some clean clothes. He found Oliver by the couch watching the news. Barry noticed the report about Flash saving missing people from the sewers. Oliver turned to him with a little smile.

“You look good,” Oliver said eyeing him. Barry laughed, hugging him with a smile.

“You think I always look good. Even covered in spider webs.”

“I can't disagree,” he answered, kissing him shortly. “What do you want to do with our three hours?”

“Hmm,” he hummed thinking. “I have two ideas, actually,” Barry said and Oliver looked at his expectedly, waiting for further explanation. Barry just laid his hand over Oliver's chest, suggestively. “Only if it won’t trigger you,” he insisted.

“It won’t. It’s you asking after all.”

Barry smiled, taking Oliver’s hand. He led him into their bedroom, taking off his boyfriend's with childish curiosity before he stopped himself to look at Oliver. The man was looking his little insecure but with a love in his eyes. He laid down visibly waiting for Barry to join him.

“What was the second idea?”

“Go for a walk in a park like normal people do?”

“I like the idea,” Oliver agreed, taking Barry’s hand to bring him close. “One thing. Walk, not run.”

“I’m moved that you know me that well. Fine, walk,” Barry muttered, rolling his eyes, then he leaned over his chest, kissing Bratva tattoo.

“So after Amanda Waller took you to Russia what did you do?” Barry asked, looking at Oliver who closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

“I tried to look for Konstantin Kovar but Bratva kidnapped me,” he told Barry. “Want to guess who was there?”

“That Russian man who was with you on Ivo’s ship. Anatoly, right?”

“Yeah, he brought me into Bratva, I had to do things to get into it, but in the end, I was Bratva too. Let me turn around.”

Barry moved enough for Oliver to roll onto his stomach, Barry pressed his palms over his shoulder blaze.

“One of these things was to trust them, I was standing with my backs to them, feeling as they were running knives through my body, wanting nothing more to turn around and disarm them but I was standing still to finish what I started.”

Barry ran his fingers over scars. Long and almost straight marks didn’t seem like they were too deep but a number of them were making up for it. He felt how Oliver shivered and looked at his face.

“Want me to stop?” he asked but Oliver ignored him.

“I wasn’t only in Bratva in Russia. There was a woman, Talia. She was the person to tell me to take control of the monster in me, to give it an identity different from Oliver Queen.”

“The Hood,” Barry guessed.

“In Russia, they called me Kapiushon.”

“Enough for today,” he decided for him, getting up and tossing Oliver’s shirt into his direction to get ready himself. They were walking hand in hand, slowly for once. In moments like that Barry was ready to forget about everything that was wrong with the world. He had an easy deal. Just love and be loved and you can be happy. He suddenly felt as Oliver’s hand tensed, squeezing his fingers. Barry looked at him, but he was staring at something ahead of him.

“Ollie, what happened?” he asked, snapping the man out of his thoughts.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Right, I totally believe you,” Barry said sarcastically,

Oliver sight, shooting him a quick look. “You see this woman with a maybe 7 or 8 years old boy?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that? You have a kid and forgot to mention that?”

“She told me she lost the baby.”

“Oh. You don’t think she was lying, do you? Why would she lie about something like a baby? To you, I mean. When she got pregnant you and your family were rich and probably did not want the world to know about your other affair, so she could use it to get money from you.”

“You're fine with it?”

Barry wasn’t feeling good wondering how many kids Oliver might have, considering his past, but he knew that it was years ago, even before the island. Oliver was different and even if Barry was jealous of those women who slept with his boyfriend he couldn’t be mad at him for that.

“We all have our past, Ollie. I know you were sleeping around jerk and I know it. I would be mad if you know you had a kid and would hide it from me on purpose.”

“I'm guessing that's a good thing I don't hide anything from you,” he said with a wink, kissing Barry who was smiling widely.

“Maybe she just got pregnant after miscarriage.”

“Maybe. Can we go now? I don’t really wanna think about this.”

“Of course. I think we can walk to Joe’s. Iris will be happy if we’ll be earlier.”

It took half an hour for them to get to the West’s house. At some point, Barry started rumbling about some science stuff to get Oliver’s mind of that kid in a park. He knew his boyfriend needed it even though he didn't say anything.

Iris opened the door with a smile, kissing Barry's cheek and hugging Oliver. At first, it was awkward but after months of this, he eventually got used to being hugged by Barry's family.

“I'm glad you two could make it. I heard the news.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Barry said walking into the house. He went to the couch, sitting on it with a pillow lost on his chest. Oliver and Iris joined him soon, his boyfriend smoothing his back with one hand while talking to his sister about some article about the Flash. He wasn’t listening to it until he spotted a movement on the wall above the fireplace. He screamed, hiding his face in Oliver’s neck.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Oliver asked, worried, turning to him and embracing him.

“Kill it, Ollie. It’s here,” he said with a quiet and little broken voice.

“What, spider? Where?”

“Fireplace,” he answered shortly, unable to create a longer sentence.

“I'll be fine, Barry,” Oliver told him, getting up. Barry’s reached out for him for a second, before he realized he had to let go if he wanted the spider dead.

Barry curled up on the couch further, trembling a little, not knowing how much time passed. Suddenly there was a warm hand on his back, and he knew Oliver was back. He let himself relax, now there wasn’t any danger for him.

“That’s known,” Iris said, looking at him.

“These missing people were kidnapped by big spiders, awful creatures,” Barry explained. Eddie joined them in a living room, kissing Iris and Barry smiles when Eddie’s eyes slid down to look at the ring on his sister's finger. It was a good thing that Eddie finally proposed. Oliver shifted but when Barry shot him a short look he just shook his head dismissing it.

They started talking about recent baseball games, turns out that Eddie and Oliver watched it sometimes and Barry with Iris knew it from their significant others. They almost missed when Joe came back from work. Barry turned his face to him, seeing how a little smile was forming on the man’s lips. He returned the smile, happy that for once everything was going as he wished. Joe and Oliver got along, Barry was surprised when he didn’t hear some talk between them, but they started talking just fine, finding common ground in things like protecting their families or their love for Barry.

Iris wanted to stand up from where she was sitting on Eddie’s lap but her father told her he would finish dinner for her, so she could spend time with their guests. Oliver did convince Barry to not shut his family out completely, but they weren’t visiting them that often.

“I’ll go and help Joe,” Oliver whispered to him, untangling their arms and getting out from the couch. Barry pouted but his boyfriend quickly kissed it away before moving away to the kitchen. “Fixing Iris’ mess will take time and people who actually know how to cook,” he added with a smile.

“I’m not that bad!” Iris yelled after him, causing Barry and Eddie to bit down their laugh, but she still noticed that. “You all are terrible. I can make a banana.”

“And only that,” Eddie said, earning himself a smack on the arm. “You know I love you, babe.”

“Well, at least Oliver will lay his fingers on it. I can’t get over his cooking,” she said closing his eyes. “It’s not fair that Barry got himself a man who can cook better than I.”

Barry laughed. Even after four months of living together, Iris still couldn't get over the fact that he was dating Oliver.

He and Oliver stayed after dinner a little longer, watching together some TV show, until it was dark and late. Joe offered them to stay a night and Iris with Eddie accepted it. Barry just shook his head. They said their goodbye, before the speedster took Oliver with him, speeding them to their apartment.

“I'm surprised you didn't want to stay,” Oliver said when they were inside.

“What can I say, I wanted to celebrate our successful mission,” he said, wrapping his arms around Oliver's waist. “Besides your look, I believe I have to thank my hero for saving me from that horrible spider.”

Oliver laughed, closing his eyes for a moment, before he leaned in for a kiss, stopping inches from Barry’s mouths. “What kind of ‘thank you’ we’re talking about?”

“That is entirely up to you,” he answered with a smile, feeling Oliver’s hands on his hips, pushing him to walk backward toward the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post deleted scenes in 2 or 3 days and I'll take a little break (not for long really, I grow to love posting things here and not only showing it to the closest friends) from posting and then I'll continue with events from 2nd and 4th seasons.
> 
> See you in the deleted scenes!


	11. Deleted scenes part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some scenes deleted from the main story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So last chapter took more of my energy than I thought it would and I need more time to get done the next one but because I promised myself I will be updated every 2 or 3 days I have some scenes I had im my head but they don't fit in the main story mostly because they are from Oliver's POV (not every one but yeah). 
> 
> I have more of them but they are connected with some chapters that aren't posted yet. No spoilers.
> 
> Enjoy!

Scene 1: Oliver's goodbye with Felicity before his duel with Ra's Al Ghul

"Kill him," Felicity said firmly, coming closer to Oliver. "You have to kill Ra's Al Ghul. It is a duel, Oliver, with one of the most dangerous men that has ever walked the earth."

"And I wouldn't do it if I didn't think I could win," the archer protested, looking at his friend.

"I don't doubt that. I don't doubt that you can beat him, I'm terrified that you won't kill him because that's not who you are anymore. And I'm so afraid that Ra's Al Ghul is gonna use your humanity against you."

Oliver felt a shiver, caused by Felicity's words. They sounded similar to something Barry had said, but something was missing.

"Felicity, I honestly don't know if I'm killer anymore. But I do know three things. The first is that whoever I am, I'm someone that will do whatever, whatever it takes to save my sister. Secondly, I am honored to have a friend like you, so no matter what happens, remember that you are special."

Oliver paused to pull the bag over his shoulder and hug Felicity. He passed her toward the door.

"And the third thing?" Felicity asked, stopping him. Oliver turned to look at her.

"I believe you will tell Barry my goodbye and that I regret that we could have more time."

Oliver left, closing the door quietly behind him, heading upstairs to go to the place where Ra's Al Ghul was waiting for him.

Scene 2: Oliver's dream after Tatsu brought him back to life

Oliver was in the Arrowcave, before he went to face Ra's Al Ghul in a duel. Something seemed off for him, but he pushed his thoughts away as soon as he saw Barry.

"You need to kill him, Ollie," Barry said, stepping closer. "I know I said to you that you can be better but- It's a duel. Kill or be killed."

"I can't," Oliver said weakly. "I don't want to kill anymore or live this life. I want a life. But with you"

"You don't have to do this, Ollie," Barry said wrapping his arms around Oliver's neck. "We can run away from here, you'll stay with me."

"I can't, Barry," he repeated. "I have my dreams but the League will follow us."

"I can run faster than some assassins. C'mon Oliver. It will be fun. Beside if you can't go there and kill him and you can't stay here neither-"

"Okay," he finally agreed, putting his hands on Barry's hips.

"Really? You'll go with me? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure of one thing. I love you."

He kissed Barry. Slowly, gently, taking his time with the speedster and enjoying every movement of their locked lips.

Suddenly Barry pulled away, horror in his eyes, as Oliver felt blood in his mouth. He looked down just to see a sword in his chest.

He woke up, not knowing where he was or what happened. Then he saw Tatsu, sitting on the desk, doing something. It was just a dream. He was alive, Barry was alive. Everything would be fine.

Scene 3: Oliver's thoughts after his training with Barry 

Oliver was angry at himself. He did hurt Barry, even if it wasn't intentional. It didn't matter if Barry hadn't any marks left. He lost control over his action and that was the fact.

He let cold water flow over his hot skin, brutally cooling it, while he was lost in his thoughts. A shiver went down his spine. Oliver's mind was yelling at him non-stop. There weren't any words, he heard an overwhelming screech, going through his whole head, and covering his ears wasn't helping, all he was able to do was to shut his eyes tight and pray for it to stop.

He got out of the shower, slowly drying himself with a towel. Oliver was doing it on autopilot, just sometimes pressing a little too hard until he felt pain on his skin from scratches. Oliver felt like he deserved this, but then he remembered that there were people out there who thought differently.

He put himself together, walking out of his loft, heading towards Verdant. He promised Barry he would talk to Thea and later to him. Oliver needed to fulfill these promises.

Thea was surprised when she saw him. Oliver took her to the basement, watched as realization washed over her.

Then she hugged him.

He embraced her, listening to Thea's quiet 'thank you' again and again, not entirely believing that Barry was right. Barry was right, Thea didn't hate him, she was even grateful for what he was doing.

Oliver allowed himself to smile slightly. Tears were in his eyes but he blinked a few times. He still had his little sister with him, she was happy and proud of having a brother like him, and Barry was waiting for his call back in Central. The speedster was waiting for a call from somebody who had hurt him and- Oliver cut that thought before it even evolved.

Someone must hit him in the head on his last mission because he heard these screams again. Maybe that was just him. The last time they were so loud was so many years ago, after Hong Kong, Oliver almost forgot about them.

The voices stayed quiet when he was talking to Barry. Speedster's voice was keeping them silent, he was helping Oliver without even knowing it and hell would go cold on the day Oliver would hurt this precious person again.

Or maybe he shouldn't say that. After all, he was still the same person who only could hurt others. He could try to be better, no matter the cost. He needed to try anyway.

Scene 4: "We'll talk later" - Iris' questions about Oliver Queen in Barry's bed

Iris' smile was scary. Barry couldn't shake the feeling that she knew all his secrets, even hidden deepest in him. Sprinter hid behind a cup of coffee, drinking it slowly.

"So," Iris began expectantly, placing her elbows on the table. "You won't run away from this conversation, don't even think about it. Barry, Oliver Queen threw you out of bed in the morning. Oliver Queen. Don't you think I deserve some details?"

"Do you want details because you're my sister or because we're talking about Oliver? You have your boyfriend, Iris," Barry reminded her. "Don't drool over mine."

"It's not fair. Did you forget that Oliver is on my list?"

"It doesn't matter, because even if Eddie is fine with it, I'm not. Besides, he didn't throw me out of bed, I fell after he tried to wake me up. It's not my fault I started falling asleep again," Barry said without thinking. When he saw Iris's broad smile, he realized his mistake of saying too much about that morning.

"And what were you up to make you so tired?" Iris asked, starting to driving him crazy. He sighed, running his hand over his face.

"Nothing. Oliver came in the middle of the night, I was after work, so I was tired. Whatever you think, you are wrong."

"If you're thinking you know what I'm thinking, you are the one wrong here," Iris responded, raising her eyebrows with a smile.

Barry looked up at her, asking for patience from any being in the universe.

"I'm lost in what you just said. Tell me what do you want to know," the sprinter finally asked, giving up. He took another long sip of his coffee.

"Did you and Oliver- you know-" she said in a low voice, looking at him suggestively.

"It's none of your business, Iris," he answered, trying to act cool.

"Oh my God," Iris said with wide eyes. "I'm shocked and happy at the same time."

"I didn't say anything."

"Avoiding the answer is the answer."

"I have to go to the police station. It would be nice if you didn't brag about it and stopped being this interested in my relationship,” Barry said, taking his coffee and getting up from the chair.

"My brother slept with Oliver Queen," Iris said quietly, Barry heard her only because he was passing by her. He began to miss his peaceful life when Iris didn't know who he was dating and didn't throw him into the crossfire of questions.

Barry rolled his eyes, promising himself that he would stop answering Iris's questions someday.

Scene 5: Diggle's wedding 

Oliver walked towards Diggle, adjusting his suit. He was a little nervous, being the best man for his friend's second wedding. The archer was also a little worried about his boyfriend - his partner, he corrected himself, he was more mature than Barry to call them boyfriends - who had to stay in Central City and deal with psychopathic criminals who kidnap Barry's dad. At least they weren't metahumans.

"You're late," Diggle greeted him. "Barry has a bad influence on you."

"It's 12:45, inventions said one. I'm early. And I'm never early. Barry has nothing to do with that."

"Where is he anyway?" Diggle asked, frowning. "I thought I told you to bring him with you."

"Yeah, there are this two psychopaths in Central, and they kidnapped Barry's dad and-"

"Okay, I get it," Diggle interrupted him. "Lyla wanted to take some photos before the ceremony."

Diggle said something to him about his wedding with Lyla before. Oliver listened to him, but part of him was in Central City, thinking about what could go wrong or how Barry could get hurt. He could be fast but sometimes he was forgetting about his powers. Maybe Oliver's training would help him.

Felicity came to the wedding with Ray, which made sense. Oliver was happy that she found herself a good man. However, he couldn't help the feeling of jealousy when he saw them together.

Damn psychopaths. If it wasn't for them Barry would be there with him. Maybe he would even stay after the ceremony and Oliver would have a chance to dance with him, be happy with him for one day. Come home with him.

Damn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want part two of deleted scenes someday.
> 
> Hopefully I see you next time with the real chapter


	12. Deleted scenes part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deleted scenes part 2, one less than in the previous part but I couldn't get through one of them and it was hell. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Scene 6: Change in the future

Wells walked into the Time Vault after making sure he was alone. He had this weird feeling in his guts like something horrible had happened. And it wasn’t a good sign. Barry did travel back in time earlier than he expected and what more he did it accidentally. Wells was sure he wasn’t going to keep his mouths shut. Who he would tell? His adoptive father who was already suspicious about him, Cisco, Caitlin. Maybe his little gay adventure Oliver Queen. Wells closed his eyes, couldn’t even think about their relationship which complicated his plan even more.

“Gideon, show me the future,” he ordered the AI.

“Certainly, doctor.”

The hologram showed him the article from 25th April 2024, and he saw something he feared. RETURN TO SENDER: U.S. POST OFFICE SHUTS DOWN PERMANENTLY. Just like after Barry lost his powers, there is no fight, no disappearance.

“Run a complete search. Show any references to The Flash.”

“References to The Flash.”

Holograms started popping up, articles about the Flash saving people, running around. So the problem wasn’t with Barry. He frowned looking at the byline at one of the articles, Iris West-Thawne. Oh no, no, no. It wasn’t happening, it was impossible.

“Show any references to the Reverse Flash.”

“Zero references.”

He felt a cold shiver running down his spine. All this time, his work, efforts to get back to his time, his home. Destroyed just because little Barry Allen ran back in time, and he changed something. Before this future remained intact. How could he change something like that?

How much time has he had left now? He had to figure something out, he could not be erased from existence.

“Show any references to Eobard Thawne,” he tried again.

“Zero references to Eobard Thawne.”

“Look again!”

“I've searched 3,452 times, Dr. Wells. There's nothing.”

He took a few deep breaths, he could still fix it. Killing Oliver would do nothing for him, he couldn’t kill Barry or Eddie either. Maybe he could get rid of Iris, then just Barry would be alone. He quickly threw away this idea. Barry couldn’t get anything done without his precious wife, so if he wanted a fight with Barry he couldn't kill her.

“Gideon, show me recent news from Starling City.”

He spent too much time planning his next move. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Why was Barry doing so much mess wherever he went? Finally, he went out of the Time Vault. He had to meet with one and only Ra’s Al Ghul to make sure Oliver would be taken from Barry who would then win Iris’ heart. In the end and nothing would stop him from going home.

Scene 7: Joe and Cisco talk

Joe was still at the police station, getting ready to go to the STAR labs to give them information for the case. He would call Barry, but he decided that he deserved a day off and have some fun with his friends, even if he knew how depressing it could be for his son to be at the dinner with two couples and still be single.

“Joe,” Cisco came to his desk. Joe smiled at him, grateful he could just give Cisco the file.

“Cisco. Hey. You just saved me a trip to S.T.A.R. Labs,” he said. “I got some info on our second victim. Name's Bill Carlisle. He was recently hired at Folston Tech to beef up their robotics division.”

“Robotics? That's just like the first victim. Wow. That is weird,” Cisco said, but he sounded like it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“That's not why you stopped by,” Joe guessed.

“No, I wanted to talk to you about Barry.”

“Okay.”

“Is there something going on with him?” Cisco asked. “Something he's not telling us?”

“What do you mean?” he asked trying to play dumb. Of course, he knew Barry was worried about Wells being the Reverse Flash, and he couldn’t tell Cisco and Caitlin about that.

“He hasn't really been himself lately,” he continued.

“Not that I'm aware of.”

“It's like something is just really bothering him. And I doubt that it has to do anything with Oliver because Felicity would say something about it.”

“What Oliver has to do with it?”

“They could fight over something but I think Barry wouldn’t act about it that much. I mean he did hide the whole relationship but it’s still weird.”

“Wait, wait. What relationship?” he asked, confused. The last time he checked Barry was in love with Iris and wasn’t that close to the Starling City vigilante. And Cisco knew it before him?

“Barry’s with Oliver. They’re together. You didn’t know, did you?” he asked and when Joe shook his head he smiled awkwardly. “Anyway, something’s off with him.”

Why would Barry hide something like that from him? Looking back, Oliver’s recent visit to Central City without team up to beat meta-human made more sense.

“Well, I think he's got his mind trained on catching the bad guys, Cisco. And he's probably worried about when The Reverse-Flash is gonna show his face again,” he said half-truth, but it still was better than lying. He noticed that suddenly Cisco was staring into space. “Hey,” he tried to bring him back. The engineer's eyes focused on him again. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm fine. It's just- I've got this crazy headache. Thank you for the file and the talk.”

Scene 8: Felicity confronts Ra's Al Ghul

“I need to talk to you,” Felicity almost shouted at Ra’s, entering one main chamber. She was angry, and she felt her heart breaking at the thought of leaving Oliver in Nanda Parbat. “What is happening here is perverse. What you are doing to Oliver, what you are making him do. I am not going to let it happen.”

Ra’s looked at her for a few seconds before he turned to Maseo. “You can leave us.” When the assassin left, he focused his whole attention on her. “You have a great fire within you. I can see now why Oliver loves you.”

It hit her, more than she would like. Of course, she knew Oliver loved her but not in the way she hoped. He loved her the same way he loved Diggle or Roy, as a friend. But he was happy with Barry, so she wasn’t acting on that. “I’m not the one he loves.”

“So his fast friend is more than a friend?” Ra’s asked and Felicity just nodded, not sure if she should tell him that. “I see. But it doesn’t change the fact that you love him.”

“If you knew the first thing about love, you would not be ripping Oliver away from his family,” Felicity tried to argue.

“I am merely helping him fulfill his Destiny.”

“Yeah, I know all about the ‘survive my sword’ prophecy, and I am here to tell you that I could really give a crap. Me and John and, God help me, Malcolm, are not going to let this happen, and we have friends, and we have resources, and we will go to war to get Oliver back.”

Felicity wasn’t sure why she didn’t mention Barry. He already knew about him, what he could do, and what he meant to Oliver. She felt like if she would say his name right there she was going to lose it.

“You know, many lifetimes ago, I loved a woman,” Ra’s began. “Immeasurably. And she loved me. And we had a son and then a daughter, and for many years, I felt I was the most fortunate man in the world. My life was bliss. And one night, a man came to my door, and he gave me a horrible choice- to leave without saying a word to them or to stand and watch them tortured and then killed. And I left without a farewell. And to spare them pain, I endured an agony worse than death.”

“Sounds like you gave up too easily,” she said trying to figure out where he was going with that story.

“There's one immutable truth about life. It is often crueler than it is fair, and rarely provides an opportunity for any of us to find closure. And all your posturing and all your threats of war will merely delay the inevitable, causing you to forfeit the opportunity you have. This was denied to me. You need to tell Oliver goodbye.”’ She felt tears in her eyes, making it harder for her with every word Ra’s was saying. “Tell him how much you love him, even if he doesn’t love you back. Tell him whatever it is your heart needs to express. And do it now before he is lost to you forever.”

She stormed out of the chamber, going straight to where Oliver was. She wasn’t sure what she should say, how to make things better. How to convince him to come back home, not even to her but to Barry. Their kiss, their quiet confession of feelings back in Starling City was still fresh in her mind. She knocked on the door, entering with a quiet greeting.

“You okay?” she asked subconsciously. “I'm sorry, that's a stupid question. You- You just saw your sister come back from being mostly dead and you are about to give up everything you know and love, so you're probably not.”

“I remember the first time that I thought I'd never see Thea again. When my father's boat went down.”

“But you did see her again. And you'll see her again. Again.”

“This is different. I've just been thinking about the person I was. The brother that I was. And how he probably died when that boat went down. All this time, I've been struggling with who I am.”

“And you think who you're supposed to be is the next Ra's al Ghul?”

“Honestly? I don't know. The only thing that I can know for sure is that everything that I've done, every- everything that happened, it led me right here, to this moment. And Felicity, if that's true, then I don't know what it was all for.”

“I do. I wish that I could change your mind about staying here, but I know I can't. Just like I know how leaving you here is going to destroy me. I don't regret a single moment. And you shouldn't, either. You have done so much. You have saved so many people's lives. And you have changed so many for the better. Including mine.”

“You know, you sound a lot like Barry.”

“He’s a smart man,” she smiled. “ Knowing you has changed my life. You opened up my heart in a way I didn't even know was possible. I love you,” Felicity finished almost breathless. “And I know you don’t love me back, not in that way and I’m happy that you are happy with him, but I need you to know that and I need to tell you what my heart needs to express,” she repeated Ra’s words. She hated him but he was right. She needed to say all those things before she lost him.

Felicity covered her mouth with a trembling hand, closing her eyes, and suddenly couldn’t fight back the tears. Once she said all of those things she agreed with Oliver staying in Nanda Parbat, and she felt selfish for still wishing for him to be hers, but it was stronger than she was. Felicity felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked upon Oliver to find him with a little and warm smile.

“Thank you for telling me this, I appreciate that. You’re right, I can’t tell you I love you back, but- you’re special Felicity and I couldn't wish for a better friend than you.”

She stood up and then Oliver followed her, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. They stayed like this for a while, until Oliver moved away, moving to the balcony. She felt guilty pouring something to knock him out then giving it to him, but she had to try. Try to bring him home even against his will. The toast to their friendship hurt, but she was glad she told him, it was like facing one of her fears just to feel like some burden was taken from her shoulders.

Scene 9: Eddie and Eobard talk about future

Eddie felt pain when Reverse Flash threw him to the ground in the weird-looking place. He didn’t know where he was due to traveling this fast. But he wasn’t going to give up that easy.

“You might as well take that mask off. I know it's you, Wells. Or whoever you really are,” he said confidently.

“Well, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Eobard. Eobard Thawne.”

It got him off guard. How this man and he could be related? “I don't understand. Why do you have my name?”

“Why? Well, 'cause we're family, Eddie.”

“Funny, I haven't seen you at any reunions or weddings,” he tried to brush it off as a joke. He could pretend he wasn’t scared even if it wasn’t true.

Wells, Eobard, however, he would like to be called, chuckled. “That is funny. And the reason for that is because as far as those guest lists are concerned, I haven't been born yet.”

“So that's why you didn't kill me that night at S.T.A.R. Labs?” Eddie asked, trying his best to wrap his head around this situation. “This whole thing- It's been about me?”

“Not a chance. You, my friend, are simply my insurance.”

He left lost. Whatever he was saying the man had an answer for it. Wells tied him to a chair, leaving him alone. Eddie was sitting there, sometimes dozing off, trying to stay awake in case Eobard would come back or somebody would rescue him. He didn’t know how much time passed when his kidnapper showed again.

“Don't suppose you brought lunch?” he asked.

“Did you know that human beings can survive up to two months without food?” Eobard answered with another question, this one felt heavier in Eddie’s ears then it probably should.

“Is that how long you're planning on keeping me here?”

“You know, I doubt it'll come to that.”

“You wanna tell me what we're doing down here?” he tried to guess on his own but every scene was a dead end without any sense.

“No.”

“You told me we're related, that you're from the future. Prove it.”

“Yeah, I don't have to prove anything to anyone.”

Eddie felt angry. This man was annoying him with his short answers, ignoring him and treating him like he was better, just because he was from the future. He wasn’t any better than all meta-humans Barry had faced.

“Well, I think you're full of crap,” he snapped at him. “And whatever you're trying to do, you're not gonna get away with it because The Flash is-”

Suddenly the evil speedster was next to him in a matter of milliseconds, vibrating all his body, his eyes were glowing red.

“Stop talking.”

After that, he was left alone again. He managed to take his jacket off but it wasn’t less frustrating. How many times Eobard could come down to him before he’d get bored with this cat-mouse game? Eddie knew he was tired of being the mouse.

“You know they're going to find me,” he tried again to provoke the speedster when he showed up. “And you. You're not as smart as you think you are.”

“Oh, really? 'Cause I'm a genius where I come from. Imagine how smart that makes me here.”

“Because you're from the future? With a name like Eobard, I guess you'd have to be.”

“No, Eobard is a distinguished name for a distinguished member of a distinguished family.”

“Depressing to think all of my descendants are as crazy as you.”

To Eddie’s surprise, Eobard just laughed. “Oh, no, no, no. No, the Thawne bloodline is chock-full of influential politicians, scientists, captains of industry. Failures such as yourself are just the exception.”

“And what exactly makes me such a failure?”

“Tough question, Eddie. Where to start? Oh, how about your career as a police detective? It's spectacularly uneventful.”

“Yeah. Well, we'll see.”

“No, we have seen. I have seen. I am from the future. And you are the only Thawne to be all but forgotten by history. Waste of life, waste of a man. And you shouldn’t even get the girl. Guess for that you have to thank Mr. Allen. For ruining my whole life!” the Reverse Flash raised.

“What are you talking about?”

“You see, Iris West was never in our family. She married Barry and not you. But of course, Allen had to mess it up by falling into the bad with the Arrow.”

Eddie frowned. As far as he knew, Barry was with Oliver not with the Arrow. He wasn’t sure if he could take that Oliver was the Arrow but it made sense for them to be together as two heroes. It didn’t mean he wasn’t shaken. Eobard came closer to him showing him an article about Flash vanishing.

“It was supposed to happen. Observe, if you will, the byline. An article was written by Iris West-Allen,” he said, changing the article into another one. “Now the future has changed. Iris West-Thawne, it sounds wrong. But I already dealt with it, Ra’s Al Ghul will make sure that Oliver would never be with Barry and Iris will fall for him as she should, maybe even before times will catch up with me. So we're just gonna have to give this ring back to Grandma Agnes. You, Eddie, won't be needing it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the last chapter and I wanted to give 'it was an amazing adventure' kind of speech but there's an end and the beginning. So just thank you for all support and hopefully I see you in the next part very very soon ♡

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language but I tried. Feel free to tell me if you'll spot any mistakes. I was doing my best but sometimes even doing your best is not enough. 
> 
> It was little depressing, I'm sorry I promise I'll get better.


End file.
